


The Path Untaken

by bylaude



Series: Pathverse [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Character AU, Anxiety Attacks, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Hyuuga Hinata, BAMF Konoha 12, BAMF Uchiha Sasuke, BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Canon-Typical Violence, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Don't copy to another site, Fuuinjutsu Master Uzumaki Naruto, Gen, Genki Girl Sakura, Good Uchiha Sasuke, OOC AU, Panic Attacks, Personality Flip AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rebellious Hyuga Hinata, Team Dynamics, Tsundere Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, a twist on village sweetheart Sakura, and violence too i guess lol, au where konoha 12 and sand sibs have different personalities and abilities, everyone knows everyone, rated mostly for naruto and tenten's foul mouths, unreliable narrators
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 11:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20814722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bylaude/pseuds/bylaude
Summary: In another world, Uzumaki Naruto would've chased a childhood dream of becoming Hokage, in a wild bid to gain the respect and affection of his village. In another world, he would've made a rival out of a boy who only had enough room for vengeance in his heart.This is not that world.Or: Kakashi, newly appointed sensei and unfortunate brat-sitter, gets stuck with not one, not two, but THREE secretive little punks. He did not sign up for this.[OOC AU] [Team 7 centric] [BAMF Konoha 12 & Sand Sibs] [Tsundere Sealmaster Naruto] [Anxious Underachiever Sasuke] [Cunning Extrovert Sakura] [Rebellious Prodigy Hinata]





	1. 0: Prologue

**—x—X—x—**

**Part I: Prologue  
**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

**x**

Children, barely old enough to be seen as adults in the eyes of Konohan law, clamour in the hallway of the third floor of the academy, chattering away as they look for their names on the board. They are this year's graduating batch of students-turn-Genin, eager to grow up and to celebrate this major milestone in their lives, to boast to their friends and families of their momentous achievement.

He doesn't know why they even bother.

Naruto lingers back, not particularly interested in squeezing into the gaggle of kids, moving as one like a grotesque entity of skinny limbs and bobbing heads. There hasn't been a single person in the entire history of Konoha to have failed the graduation exams — most who don't have an aptitude for the ninja business drop out before the second to last term — and it's unlikely anyone has this year, so he doesn't get why they're even checking.

This knowledge made Naruto especially uninterested with the results. No one seems to share his lack of enthusiasm, however. His classmates have been pushing and shoving and nattering away in front of the board for the past ten minutes from the moment the bell had rung, cluttering the hallway and comparing ranks and scores like it mattered at all how well you did in paper tests when you're out on the battlefield fighting for your lives. Even Hinata had found the energy to drag Uchiha Sasuke to the front, drawing a dainty finger down the announcement board in search of their names.

"Rank 122 of 243," Naruto hears her drawl and sees her cast Sasuke an unimpressed look from beneath her choppy fringe. "How ridiculously average."

"Shut up," he tells her, without heat. If anything, he sounds petulant and somewhat snide as he continues pointedly, "I didn't study. Didn't have the _time_ to, because _someone_ decided to barge into my house and drag me all over Konoha the day before—"

Naruto wonders if he realises Hinata has stopped listening after the second word, casually smoothing down her loose, dishevelled, low-sitting braids over her shoulders.

Perhaps more shocking is that Nara Shikamaru had bothered to step out of the classroom to check the board as well. Haruno Sakura is with him, which would make sense, except he appears to have left his seat of his own volition and not at her insistence.

"_Yes!_" She crows, laughing so abruptly and loudly that everyone around her flinches from her volume. She bounces on her heels, her short, twin pigtails swaying madly and slapping at least one disgruntled student in the face as she whips her head to the boy beside her. "Shika-kun! Look, look! I'm last!"

Shikamaru leans forward to squint at the end of the list. Then he groans.

"Ugh, I can't believe it. A perfect 50%. I got a 51.5%…"

Sakura cackles, rubbing her palms in a decidedly nefarious manner.

"YES! I WON."

Naruto is sure that he doesn't want to find out what that's about.

Beside the mismatched pair, Akimichi Chōji and Yamanaka Ino are surveying the board carefully, gazing at the other end of the list; Naruto easily picks her out of the crowd, her long, thick platinum blond hair tied high on her head, skewed slightly to the right and adding an illusion of height. It makes her companion look short by comparison. Though all he can see is her back, Naruto can tell she is boring a hole at her name, staring with an intensity that she would never spare another human being.

Unless it's him, that is. It's one of the great mysteries of academy and Naruto, all too used to unprovoked glares, finds he can't care to find out the reason behind one girl's ire. But it is intriguing and, despite her hostility and his own initial disdain for her constant stares, like she's trying to pick him apart, Naruto has almost made it a game of how infuriated he can make her.

"Second place…" She whispers, aggravation low in her voice. Naruto considers leaving, but thinks better of it. He's curious if she'll turn one of her glares on him.

"You did well!" Chōji cheers, not seeming to notice her displeasure. "You scored 95%!"

Ino turns on her heel and meets his eyes, her gaze bright and sharp like glass behind the strands of her fringe obscuring her face, contrasting her pallid complexion and dark eye bags.

_Ah, there it is._ Naruto raises a brow imperiously, pretending he has no idea why she's so aggrieved.

Sitting above her name — _No. 2 Yamanaka Ino_ — is his own.

_No. 1 Uzumaki Naruto … _ _… _ _… _ _… …_ _ 9_ _6_ _%_

Their stare-down is broken when the door to their classroom snaps open, their harried teacher pacing away and trying to escape from Inuzuka Kiba, only to be sabotaged by Akamaru nipping at the poor Chūnin's ankles.

"Hey. Hey! No biting! Bad boy! Bad!"

"Sensei!" Kiba whines, trembling with fury, "Don't dodge the question! You didn't answer me!"

The gaggle of children stops at once and all heads turn to watch them. Iruka groans, gazing up at the ceiling and praying to the Sage for patience.

"Why am I ranked so low?! 54%?! I'm sure I executed the techniques for the ninjutsu section _perfectly__!_ And don't get me started on the written tests! I calculated! From what I studied, I should have at _least_ a 70% overall score when you factor in the weightage of each section. Except for the questions that are basically useless knowledge that we would never need, I answered and did everything perfectly! Why is it 54%?!"

Iruka deadpans. "Should I be impressed by this…? Why can't you show more enthusiasm in the content itself rather than calculating the marks like that?"

"Ugh," Kiba rolls his eyes, expression darkening, "Trust me, I wouldn't have bothered _at all_ if my mother hadn't breathed down my neck about it. She's going to kill me for this."

"I can respect that," Shikamaru drawls to no one, nodding solemnly. Chōji snorts.

Kiba whips around and yells, "Says the guy who got second last place in the whole grade!"

Shikamaru shrugs, clearly unable to care very much. As much as Naruto disregards the reliability of paper results, he thinks the Nara heir must be a weirdo, to prioritise whatever bizarre competition he's having with Haruno Sakura over his own grades. Aren't clan heirs supposed to care a bit more about their performance? Glory to the clan and all that.

As if to refute that line of thought, the _one_ person whom he knows cannot give less of a shit about clan glory speaks up just then.

"Hm," Hinata hums in consideration, before voicing out, "I'm also curious. I didn't study at all for the written tests but achieved 92%," she jabs a finger at the board, her name written right below Ino's. It's proof to Naruto that the academy grading system is kind of garbage (like everything _else_ about the academy), because he's pretty sure Hinata could kick both his and Ino's ass at the same time — and probably still have energy to spare to deal with the fourth best of their cohort, Aburame Shino — whom, now that Naruto is paying attention, has apparently vanished without a trace since the bell had rung. "Was there another section besides ninjutsu application and written tests?"

"Of course there was," Iruka sighs tiredly and Kiba nearly launches himself on his back in frothing rage.

"What?! Another section?! Sensei, did you _sabotage_ us?"

"Whoa, plot twist," Sakura stage-whispers with exaggerated shock, sounding distinctly like someone who is in on the secret. Shikamaru sends her a _look_.

"I didn't _sabotage_ you," Iruka huffs irritably, offended by the accusation. "Yes, I wasn't supposed to tell you. But you lot _were_ supposed to figure it out. Some of you must have," he notes, gaze flitting between the unsurprised faces of a few. "Remember the last sparring session held before exam week? That was the taijutsu section. You were graded on how quickly and effectively you took down your opponent, your ability to adapt and overcome, your form and technique, and so on. It has the heaviest weightage. Hinata scored the highest in that section, with extra credit, so that significantly boosted her overall score."

Naruto notices Sasuke favouring her with a dirty look. If memory serves, he had been her opponent that day. Hinata is notorious in class 6-C for being an absolutely vicious fighter, all quick movement and smooth strikes and _zero mercy_. There are very few within their class who could match her in terms of speed and even fewer who would be motivated enough to fight back with the promise of pain bearing down their heads.

Sasuke is neither motivated or vicious. In fact, Naruto can't recall a single instance where the other boy sparred without a hint of hesitation. He's a reluctant fighter and Naruto has no idea why he's even here training to be a shinobi when he so obviously does not have the temperament or stomach for it.

He has Hinata making enough snide comments during their experimentation sessions together to know she doesn't understand, either.

"Wait…" Kiba mutters, a manic grin forming on his face, "Oh. Oh, I _see_."

"Uh," Iruka cringes, not liking the glint in the boy's eyes.

"So you didn't give us a head's up," Kiba says, baring his teeth in an unsmile, "And graded us just like that when we weren't prepared… If that's the case, then it's fair if we demand to be re-graded, right?"

Stone-faced, Naruto shoulders his bag and tries to leave in the chaos, as he had intended before stopping in the hallway on a whim.

"Actually… I don't get to decide that…"

Not hearing him, Kiba turns and yells at Naruto's back. "UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

Naruto groans. "Shit…"

"I WANT A REMATCH!"

Not even considering their audience, Naruto glances over his shoulder to give Kiba, and his offending finger, the stink-eye.

He sighs and closes his eyes.

"No choice," he says aloud — which makes the entire cohort prematurely buzz with excitement at the prospect of a fight — until he snaps forward and breaks into a mad dash.

"Ah," Hinata deadpans in the background, as everyone falls silent in their shock, "He's escaping."

Kiba gapes, mouth falling open. "Wha— HEY! DON'T RUN, YOU COWARD, FACE ME!"

"Hell no!" Not rising to the bait, Naruto runs faster, the other boy hot on his heels as they trailblaze down the hall. "I'm _done_ with academy! _No rematch!_ You're going to make me miss the sale at the marketplace!"

"What sale?!" Kiba blasts, enraged, "Never mind that. I'll trounce you faster than you can blink!"

"As if! Buzz off, Inuzuka!"

Naruto races to the end of the hall and doesn't bother taking the stairs one step at a time, leaping over the railings to reach to the bottom. He doesn't expect Kiba to _deadass_ crash in his direction with a Gatsuga, obliterating at least two floors worth of steps. Naruto swaps himself with the battered remains of an old training dummy someone left lying around, in time to skid down to the first floor, debris raining down on his blond head.

"What the fuck, _what the fuck!_"

Is he insane?

"Narutooo!" Kiba roars, emerging from the dust cloud with Akamaru— fuck, no wait, he used the combination technique. There's two Kibas after him, now.

"You're crazy!" Naruto yells over his shoulder, "Why the fuck are you using your clan's hidenjutsu?! The match was taijutsu-only!"

"This isn't the match!" Kiba shouts back, which is the only reason Naruto knows which is the real him, "This is me _hunting your ass down__!__!_"

"Sage's left ass cheek," Naruto swears, taking a sharp turn as the other, younger students flatten themselves against the walls to avoid the two juggernauts. He barely notices Konohamaru as he dashes past, skidding under a whiteboard two startled fourth-years are moving before leaping to his feet.

"Woo! Naruto-niichan, get him!"

"Ugh!" Naruto doesn't deign to reply.

Deciding the main gates are much too far from where he is, Naruto finds the closest window and throws himself out, landing on his feet and immediately breaking into a run. The sharp turn isn't going to confuse Akamaru's nose or throw the mad duo off his track, but an open space should at least guarantee a higher chance of escape.

Something crashes behind him. Naruto curses, refusing to look back.

"FIGHT ME, NARUTO!" Kiba yells, loud enough to be heard all over Konoha. Naruto has never felt so much secondhand embarrassment in his life.

"SHUT UP!" He screams back, too incensed in his incredulity to see it coming when something bursts from the ground beneath his feet, knocking him off balance and right back into Kiba, who seizes him from behind and catches his flailing arms in a deadlock.

Naruto finds himself gaping. Did Akamaru just…use Gatsuga to drill his way underground?

He doesn't know why this shocks him so much. He's always known Kiba's clan techniques are absurd as all hell — and the other boy's just _ridiculous_ enough to use it in such a way.

"Gotcha!" Kiba crows triumphantly into his ear, as Akamaru stops spinning and approaches with Kiba's grin, cocking a fist. "Get him, boy!"

Akamaru draws his fist back — and punches Kiba point-blank.

…

…

…

"Wow… Knocked out by his own dog."

"…Embarrassing."

"Uzumaki-kun escaped. I win the bet!"

"Ugh."

"Pay up, pay up!"

"He's drooling."

"Disgusting."

"Is he even alive?"

It takes Kiba several minutes and a lot of prodding from the rest of their classmates — Hinata was _kicking him_, what the hell — before he can sit up with a clear head again. He stares blearily at them, then grasps at empty air uncomprehendingly.

"That guy…"

He feels his disbelief mounting into a fury.

"…he actually sent a _clone_ to class on graduation day?!"

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

"I'm missing the sale," Naruto grouses as he enters the Hokage's office, closing the door behind him with a nonchalant foot. The Sandaime watches with him an amused air, exhaling smoke from his pipe.

"No, you're not. You sent a clone."

Naruto doesn't bother to deny, throwing his shoulder bag haphazardly on the ground and then himself into the plush seat opposite the wizened Professor.

He can't even begin to count the number of times he's found himself here, sinking into the chair at the Hokage's office after an insufferably long day at class. The Sandaime nudges a cup towards him.

"Here. Have a cup of tea."

Naruto takes it without complaint.

"Now, what is this I hear about property damage inflicted onto the academy building?"

He sneers, a total change from his previously annoyed but benignant demeanour. The Hokage tolerates this patiently.

"It wasn't me this time!" Naruto snaps angrily, temper rising, before knocking back the tea in one gulp and letting it scald his throat. Indignant, he takes the whole pot and pours himself some more, ranting. "Inuzuka got pissed off about the supposed taijutsu portion of our final grading and demanded a rematch from me and a re-grade from the teacher and I got pulled in even though all I wanted was to _get some chicken_ at the marketplace sale for dinner and he. fucking. accosted me. I didn't even provoke him! I was making a retreat! What the hell is with that guy?!"

He takes a deep breath, then glares over the rim of his cup.

"I'm still graduating, right?"

"Of course you are," The Hokage chortles in amusement, "I just wanted to know the full story."

Naruto scowls. "You can have the _full story_ from the entire academy. Everyone saw him chasing me, from the first years to the graduands. I was not the aggressor — and I was definitely _not_ the one who destroyed part of the school building."

"Yes, yes," the elderly man appeases him, "I never thought you were. Speaking of which, my boy, I hear you have done exceptionally well. Rookie of the Year, eh? Good job, Naruto."

Calming from the change of topic, Naruto simply shrugs, not really caring. The title of "Rookie of the Year" doesn't actually have that much weight to it when he thought of all those times Hinata had effortlessly trounced him in combat. It was just luck that he hadn't been paired off against her for his spar. And unlike Ino, Naruto doesn't care for rankings. It isn't going to get him more missions or a fatter paycheck, so what use is it?

"It's nothing," Naruto says, meaning it, but nonetheless feels his neck warm at the proud, grandfatherly smile the man is giving him. He hurries to change the subject once more, embarrassed. "But forget that. You still remember what you promised me three years ago, right?"

"Yet, I hear you left a shadow clone in class today. That goes against our agreement."

Naruto rolls his eyes. He remembers the terms well, too well to goof up on the very last day of academy. It was an unofficial, impromptu arrangement, after one of his clones erupted into smoke during one of his classes when he was nine and it reached the Hokage's ears that he'd been skipping. "Why bother?" Naruto remembers asking, his bland tone belying his rage, "No one actually teaches me anything."

He hasn't forgotten the look on the man's face — carefully blank as though to veil some unnamed emotion — nor has he forgotten how the Hokage had offered him no answers and instead blatantly swerved the topic to an offer he could not refuse, in exchange for his own promise to continue to attend the classes himself. A reward hefty and significant enough that Naruto was not only willing to wait three years to see it to fulfilment, but also sit in on those dreadful lectures in person during that span of time.

So, no, he definitely wouldn't have screwed up in such a way, to obediently follow the terms only to throw it all away on the last day of his long wait. It would've been so silly a mistake that Naruto would probably laugh and cry and murder someone — possibly himself.

"It wasn't a clone," he huffs, affronted by the accusation, "And can you really trust Inuzuka Kiba to tell the difference between a bunshin and a kawarimi?"

A grey brow raises. "A kawarimi requires you to swap your body with another object. Are you suggesting you swapped in air in your place?"

"I swapped with Inuzuka," Naruto deadpans, then taps his skull, "His bruise is at the back of his head, right? I used kawarimi to shift our position around. That's it. It isn't hard to do it. If it had just been a kage bunshin, Akamaru would've went straight through the clone and punched him in the face. After he got disoriented, I left."

The Sandaime considers his words, before finally smiling.

"Very well," he says and the blond can't tell if he believes him or is letting it slide, because Naruto thinks he might scream and snap if the Hokage chose to call their deal quits and even the strongest shinobi in the village would not want to put up with one of his Tantrums. "Now, I believe I owe you something — your graduation gift."

Naruto feels his pulse accelerate with excitement as the Hokage reaches into a drawer — and is immediately baffled when he withdraws a solid wooden chest no larger than a jewellery box, ornate in design but possessing no visible lock or latch. It is only when Sarutobi pushes it towards him that Naruto sees the looping lines imprinted on the dark wood, holding the cover close like intertwining ribbons.

Seals.

"You didn't say it was sealed," Naruto huffs, but hefts the chest greedily into his lap, eyes shining. It weighs lighter than he expects. He lets himself entertain the idea that maybe the Hokage tricked him and it's really empty inside, but decides to withhold judgement when he upturns it and lets his eyes follow the lines of the seal on the bottom of the box. A mass seal. That would ensure no one would be able to figure out what's inside without actually opening it — no amount of jostling would give away the size or weight of whatever could be inside and, in his hands, it certainly did not _feel_ like anything could be inside at all.

That part is nothing special. Naruto would go as far as to call it beginner level, being that it's one of the first seals he had ever learnt. A similar array is imprinted to the inside of his school-bag, carefully drawn with fabric ink and infused with his chakra.

But the _rest_ of it… There are bits and pieces he recognises, but nothing concrete to tell him what each part is supposed to do. Like fractures of a sentence without the grammar to properly string it together.

The Hokage is watching him, something wry in his tone as he says, "I know how stubborn you are. Even if I told you, you would've gladly taken the challenge, wouldn't you?"

Naruto doesn't reply, scrutinising the sealwork.

"I've never seen something like this before… There are so many seals overlapping over one another that I can't tell where one ends and another begins… Is this really fūinjutsu?" He puzzles over it, prodding what he perceives to be the keyhole of the seal with a smidge of his chakra.

It _zaps him_ — then shifts entirely into a different seal.

"Holy shit," he breathes, enraptured.

"Careful," the Sandaime cautions, lips quirked in amusement. "The seal tightens the more you try to force it apart. It was designed to resist unravelling."

Naruto furrows his brows, sticking the tip of his finger in his mouth to sooth the sting. "So no one has ever opened it? And you're _sure_ what I want is inside? Not some of her old personal belongings or whatever?"

"Well, theoretically speaking, anything could be in it," The man waves a hand dismissively, to the blond's annoyance. He laughs at the face Naruto makes. "But if her words are to be believed, Lady Mito stored her notes on her work inside. She claimed she won't ever consider taking in an apprentice who can't even figure out an "amateur, basic seal like this" and no one ever did manage to break it. Not during her time and not after her passing. Given that none of her work was left behind, I can only trust that she was speaking the truth when she said she stored all of it away in there."

Naruto grumbles, considering the box carefully with new eyes. It's strange to think that no one has succeeded in prying it open, but that's supposed to be _normal _for seals, he reminds himself. Seals are supposed to never be opened by those who shouldn't know how. If they got pieced apart until they break, then that's not a proper seal. And right here in front of him is one. It doesn't stretch or crumble or collapse itself when prodded, but shifts entirely into something new instead.

A true seal. Naruto struggles to breathe. The work of the Lady of Seals…

_This is my birthright._

"You won't be the first to try and decode it," the Hokage says, snapping him out of his trance, "There have been others who tried and failed, others who were sealmasters in their own right. Even I couldn't break it."

Naruto looks up, then, gaze searing.

"Were any of them like me?"

Sarutobi knows what he is asking. He hesitates.

"Two were. One of them is Lady Mito's own granddaughter. The other was a refugee who fled here after Uzushiogakure fell."

Mito's granddaughter failed to open it? Naruto frowns, suddenly less sure of himself.

"Hm. So only one of them is alive," Naruto considers, not noticing the change in the Hokage's expression as he watches the seal recede into its original formation. "I still wonder why Konoha never tried to look for stragglers, if they really were so tight with Uzushio."

"Naruto…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. The wars." Naruto sighs, moving to shove the box into his school-bag, before reconsidering and upending the contents of his bag on the floor. He sorts the books and arranges it neatly on the corner of the Hokage's desk, to the man's bemusement.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't need these anymore," Naruto declares, "But I've written notes in them. Now that I'm genin, I won't have the time to help Konohamaru with his school work, so just give him this when he barges in later to harass you. It'll help him, I think."

The Hokage smiles warmly at this.

"I'll tell him. Thank you for looking out for him, Naruto. That boy can be a real handful."

Startled, Naruto ducks his head in embarrassment, rolling his eyes and pretending to be exasperated. "Tell me about it, he's such a brat."

"I heard my name!" Konohamaru barrels into the room just as Naruto tucked the sealed box into his bag and shouldered it. The blond turns in time to catch the younger boy in the stomach as he crashes into him, vibrating with excitement.

"Ow," Naruto emits flatly, only to go completely unheard.

"You did it, you did it, nii-chan! You're Rookie of the Year, right?! I heard! Where's your hitae-ate, lemme see it, lemme see!"

"Okay, okay, let go first," Naruto squirms out of Konohamaru's grasp, exhaling a put-upon sigh as he drops his newly-issued forehead protector in the starry-eyed boy's grubby little hands. Naruto doesn't think it particularly impressive, just some piece of steel, but Konohamaru is gaping at it like it is the most sacred thing he's ever laid eyes on.

"So cool," he whispers, then louder, "So cool!"

"It's…okay," Naruto responds haltingly, not seeing whatever Konohamaru is. The little boy is immediately affronted by this lack of enthusiasm.

"Eh! Be a little more excited! You only become genin once!"

"I'll get excited when I'm jōnin," Naruto snarks, rolling his eyes and plucking his hitae-ate from the boy's hands, "How about you take your studies a bit more seriously? Then when you graduate top of the class, _you_ can get excited."

"I'll get excited either way! I don't care if I'm at the top or bottom. You said before it won't matter anyway."

"Oh, you listened. What's this. I'm shocked."

Konohamaru whines, but Naruto just rolls his eyes again and ruffles the boy's unruly hair. He walks to the window and perches himself on the sill like a monkey, waving over his shoulder at the Hokage.

"Thanks, jijii. I'll get it open in a month. Look forward to it!"

Sarutobi lets his eyebrows rise to his hairline, but Naruto has already left, throwing himself out of the window and eliciting many startled squeals from the civilians loitering in the streets below.

"What confidence," the old man laughs, shaking his head. Konohamaru frowns.

"Open what? Did you give him something, jii-chan?"

Sarutobi just gives an enigmatic smile and taps at the stack of books Naruto left behind with the end of his smoking pipe.

"He left _you_ something."

Konohamaru sweeps off the ash and opens the topmost book. He groans.

"It's three years too early to study this!"

The Hokage laughs again.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

Elsewhere, Inuzuka Kiba grumpily walks through the streets of Konoha, having just left the Hokage Tower. He had exchanged sneers with Naruto as the brunet left the office and the blond entered, both having been called to the Professor's office in light of the fiasco that happened during after-school hours. Knowing the lecture (from his sister) and the walloping (from his mother) that await him at home, Kiba finds himself loitering outside now, determined to soak up his last bit of freedom before he gets put under house arrest, to be allowed to leave only for training and missions.

"Can't believe him," he grumbles, but Akamaru just yips cheerfully on his head and Kiba groans, "Whose side are you on?! That guy's a dick."

Akamaru whines, curling up to take a nap and quite blatantly ignoring his human partner's grievances. Kiba scowls, too absorbed in his petulance, and almost walks by his classmates' table at a barbeque outlet.

"Inuzuka-kun?" A friendly voice chirps and he turns to glower, only to flush when the curious gaze of one Haruno Sakura meets his eyes. She beams, the girlish pigtails at each side of her head bouncing in delight, bright-eyed. "Oh, it _is_ you! Are you sulking outside because your mum kicked you out?"

"What? No!" Kiba splutters, deeply insulted. "I'm just — taking a walk! I'm walking Akamaru!"

Hinata sticks her head out of the other window, appraising him coolly. "Your dog is sitting on your head."

"So he kicked himself out?" A voice asks from inside, which he recognises as the lax drawl of Nara Shikamaru. Kiba feels his face redden in embarrassment.

"Hey, shut up! I'm just enjoying the night air!"

"He probably just left the Hokage's building," A softer voice says and Kiba catches a flash of blond as the Yamanaka heiress peers around Sakura's cheerful face and stares vaguely at his chin. "Are you still graduating?"

He's about to hurl an insult about second placers being first losers, because what kind of question is that? Of _course_ he's graduating! But he says none of that, because Sakura's eyes light up as she smiles prettily at him and he's woefully distracted by this.

"Ooh, ooh! You saw the Professor? I never met him up close before. What was he like? Was he scary? He looks pretty scary. Hey, do you wanna come in and eat with us? This is Chō-kun's favourite restaurant. It's really good! Always trust an Akimichi's tastes! Come on, come on, eat with us!"

"So pushy," Hinata mutters across from here, which he thinks is an irony all by itself, coming from her. Baffled, Kiba lets himself be cajoled into joining them, partly because he really _is_ hungry but also partly because Haruno Sakura is cute and nice and — Akamaru likes her. Yeah.

He is disappointed to find the only free seat is beside Uchiha Sasuke, who gives him a tight smile and a polite but terribly distant nod, and Sakura is seated the furthest she can possibly be from him, diagonally across in the opposite booth sandwiched between the window and Ino.

He's not sure whether to be personally insulted or not when Sasuke stands up and wiggles out of the booth before Kiba can even sit down, making sheepish apologies about needing to leave for some business.

"There's something really important that I have to do today," is all he offers as he collects his bag from beneath their seats, pays for his share and flees the establishment, leaving Kiba little choice but to sit beside Hyūga Hinata. She only shrugs indifferently when those at the table send her questioning looks as Sasuke leaves, and goes back to her food without even glancing at Kiba.

"We were just talking about team placements!" Sakura explains as Chōji returns from the buffet stand with a stack of trays of raw meat, plopping down beside Kiba. The movement is jarring enough that it stirs Akamaru from his nap, yawning highly. Sakura stops to coo and starts making grabby hands at him.

"You mean placing bets," Shikamaru sighs on Ino's other side, as Kiba hands Akamaru to Sakura with the puppy's permission.

"Oh, we're not placing bets about _you_ guys," Sakura huffs, cradling the puppy to her chest, "Another generation of Shika-Ino-Chō is practically guaranteed."

"Ino-Shika-Chō," Chōji politely corrects, flipping the meat on the grill and diligently allocating each cooked piece onto his classmates' plates. Kiba fumbles with his bowl, feeling awkward and thanking the other boy gruffly. It makes him feel guilty for trying to pick on him, once upon a time, despite having long apologised for it.

"Naruto-san, Kiba-san and Hinata-san would make a high power combat team," Chōji continues after a beat, as he digs into his own share. Kiba nearly chokes on his beef.

"What? Me and those two monsters?"

Hinata raises a brow, but says nothing to this. "That would be extremely imbalanced. Frontline teams aren't in high demand in peacetime, either."

"Hinata, Sasuke and Naruto," Kiba offers his two cents, "Can't imagine Hinata and Sasuke being apart. Plus, two dōjutsu in a single team would be pretty sick. You're also the only one who actually speaks to Naruto."

"You also speak to him," she points out.

"I do not," Kiba sneers, hellbent on denying any kind of amicable relationship between him and the other boy. Shikamaru snorts at them.

"Is that what they call it these days? You both just always fight with him, completely unprovoked."

"He provokes me all the time!" Kiba fumes, but Shikamaru isn't having it, dismissing his protests with a nonchalant wave of a hand. Hinata doesn't even bother to deny, taking delicate sips of her tea.

"Well, Sasuke could probably keep them in line. He's calm enough to balance out that overzealousness."

"Wouldn't he just get stressed out?" Chōji wonders, looking concerned.

"They wouldn't put two dōjutsu in one team," Ino says, daintily scooping rice into her mouth with her chopsticks, "That would be a grave mistake to make. A beacon for bloodline stealers."

"Seconded," Sakura raises a hand, like they're still in class, with Akamaru tucked in her other arm, "They're gonna separate Natahime and Uchiha-kun."

"Will he be okay if that happens?" Chōji pipes up with a furrow of his brows, but Hinata just scoffs into her drink.

"Why wouldn't he be? He isn't a kid and I'm not his babysitter."

"Tracker team!" Sakura exclaims before an awkward silence between them can settle in, holding up Akamaru's front paws, "There's gonna be a tracker team, mark my words! Me, Inuzuka-kun and Natahime!"

Kiba is too busy gaping at the idea of being on the same team as the rosette to question her on how exactly she fits in that, with no tracking abilities or dōjutsu to speak of. Hinata only eyes her over the rim of her teacup and says nothing.

"No," Ino says instead, "Two males, one female. That's the tradition."

"Tradition," Hinata scoffs derisively, at the same time as Kiba decides to dig his grave, "Hinata is practically a guy anyway."

She elbows him hard in the ribs and he never sees it coming, knee banging against the underside of the table in his shock as he chokes on his rice.

"Hey! No fighting!" Chōji yells, uncharacteristically upset. Hinata goes back to sipping her tea, her deceptively cherubic face the very picture of innocence.

"Hmmmm," Sakura deflates at Ino's words, not seeming to hear or see the commotion in front of her even as Ino frowns disapprovingly and Shikamaru's lip curls in distaste at this disturbance in their peace. "If not Uchiha-kun or Uzumaki-kun… Inuzuka-kun, Natahime and Aburame-kun?"

"You know that might put you on the same team as Uchiha and Uzumaki, right?" Shikamaru drawls, "And it'd make sense, too, if you consider your rankings. Top rookie, dead last and the ridiculously average guy. It'd be balanced."

"Oh, right!" She says with excessive cheer, casting a sly gaze at the Nara heir, "I'm dead last."

"Ugh," he groans, "I get it, I get it. Next week, okay?"

"Did you guys bet on something?" Kiba asks, rubbing his sore ribs as he shoots the girl beside him a dirty look. All he receives is a disgruntled scowl from Shikamaru and a diabolical little giggle from the rosette. He turns to Chōji for answers.

"They made a bet on who can get a perfect 50%," Chōji shrugs, "Sounds harder than getting a 100%, if you ask me. I didn't expect Sakura-chan to actually make it."

Kiba is baffled. "But why the hell for?"

Sakura just laughs, singing, "Secret~!"

"Well, good luck if you do get that team," Hinata tells her abruptly, expression utterly serious, "I'm baton passing those two idiots to you. Have fun with them."

"Hm?" Sakura's smile is less assured now, the outer corners of her brows dropping in uncertainty. Kiba privately thinks the expression is cute and struggles not to show it. "Uzumaki-kun and Uchiha-kun? Can't be that bad, right?"

Hinata levels her with a look.

"Pray they decide you're too useless and put another girl from our class with them instead," is all Hinata says, picking up the teapot and refilling her cup.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

"Absolutely not!" Utatane Koharu declares, derisively tossing the manila folder of Academy Instructor Umino Iruka's team placement recommendations on the oak table and letting it skid across the polished wood. "Preposterous! We cannot put the last Uchiha with the Hyūga heiress _and_ the Kyūbi host! That's a disaster waiting to happen. A disaster in every sense of the word!"

Sarutobi Hiruzen does not deign to give a reply straightaway, leisurely setting his teapot down on the portable stove and picking up his cup. He has read the recommendations beforehand, of course. Umino Iruka had passed in his report just a few minutes after the man's most accomplished student had leapt from the Hokage Tower's window and Hiruzen was allowed just enough time to peruse it before the scheduled inner council meeting with his old teammates.

Well, officially, it's with only them and no one else, but he isn't Hokage for nothing. Hiruzen knows just as well that Danzō is listening just beyond the wall in the weakest point of the secrecy seal and the words he says next to rebuke Koharu is meant more for Danzō than it is for her.

"And why not, old friend? Are you worried about another noble clan trying to seize power?"

Koharu fumes, red-faced. Anger, perhaps, for the accusation in his deceptively relaxed tone. Or maybe shame, shared between all three for the tragedy of the loss of the Uchiha. (He isn't sure Danzō is capable of feeling shame at this point. Perhaps it is the price of living in the darkness for too long.)

"Peace, Hiruzen," Homura interjects, perfectly calm, and sends a look of warning to Koharu, who huffs and sips her own tea. "You know that's not what Koharu means. Even you must admit that putting these three on the same team cannot bode well."

Hiruzen thinks over it. He cannot argue with that. The council has been eyeballing the close relationship between the Hyūga heiress and the last Uchiha even more intensely after the Uchiha massacre, in part due to the boy's crippling emotional dependency on the girl. They had allowed it, initially, as she seemed to provide him some motivation through the severe depression he'd suffered after the massacre, but now that he is more stabilised, they have been seeking ways to separate them. Some of the bolder council members have even suggested that perhaps the Hyūga are trying to seize the last possible carrier of the Sharingan for his Bloodline Limit, an accusation Hiashi had taken issue with. It has made things tense with the Hyūga clan in the past few years, in an uncomfortable and demented parody of the previous tension with the Uchiha.

Add to that, Hyūga Hinata is also one of the few people who actually has anything resembling a friendship with Uzumaki Naruto. Her relations with both boys as well as her status as Hyūga heiress has put a lot spotlight on her in recent years, though Hiruzen is almost entirely certain that these suspicions are unfounded, due to the girl's reputation for rebelliousness and disregard for her clan's and father's authority. To get her to do their bidding, even if they _did_ intend to hold influence over the last Uchiha and Konoha's Jinchūriki, would be like pulling teeth. Her lack of deference to her own elders and superiors is the Hyūga clan's worst kept secret.

Still, paranoia and inter-clan suspicions aside, it cannot be denied that it is a better idea to keep her away from them rather than with them. It would not do for Sasuke to become overly dependent on her and never be allowed to grow, and it would be downright disastrous if Naruto finds his seal and decides to enlist her help in finding out what it contains…

Well. With their little seal projects and experimentations, along with the occasional spar and the girl's possession of the Byakugan, Hiruzen is _sure_ that the Hyūga heiress has already noticed the seal. Why she hasn't yet drawn any notice to it, he's not sure, but he's not going to wait for her to.

Unlike his ex-teammates, however, Hiruzen cannot see the harm in placing the boys together on the same team. It certainly would make things convenient if Kakashi were to be assigned said team. As the only other carrier of the Sharingan, Kakashi is the only one in the position to teach Sasuke, and the Sharingan itself can be used to curb the Kyūbi if it ever goes out of control. Naruto always had a bit of a temper issue…

That begs the question, though — who is to be their third teammate, if not Hyūga Hinata?

Sipping his tea, Hiruzen shifts the papers on the desk, as his old friends watch him expectantly and warily. He picks out one sheet, emblazoned with the cheery countenance of a civilian-born girl. He remembers her. Social and bright, with a good head on her shoulders. It could be what the surly Uzumaki and self-isolated Uchiha need.

He pushes it forward, interrupting the hushed conversation. "What about her?"

Koharu and Homura lean forward with sceptical expressions, gazing at the toothy smile of one Haruno Sakura.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

It's quiet when he arrives, unbearably so, but he's getting better at it. It's even becoming a habit, oddly enough, when he had to try so hard to push himself into coming the first time around.

Sasuke brushes off the shrivelled leaves on the gravestones and sinks to his knees, pouring tea out of a flask for the departed. He places the cups upon each grave and sits, feeling exhausted to the bone.

"Hello, otō-san, okaa-san," he sighs, the proffered tea warming his face. Black tea for his father and peppermint for his mother.

It's these little things that helps him remember them. It has always been hard to remember, when he'd spent so much energy trying to push it all down. He remembers his mother's smile and the low rumble of his father's voice, but there's a taint to it that prevents any of his memories from being wholly pleasant. There's always that taint, that shadow, that encompasses everything and hangs like a fog.

There's only so much suppression can do, after all. The heart always remembers. He cracks a humourless smile.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been visiting so often… Last year of academy and all. Ah, guess what? I graduated just today. So you can rest easy. Hinata told me that we would probably be placed on three-man teams, though, so there's that. We need to go back to the academy for the last time tomorrow to get assigned to our teams. Maybe Hinata and I will be on the same team. I hope not. Then I really wouldn't be able to escape her. She's already everywhere."

He pauses for breath, his gaze tracing the lines of his mother's name. He hates the silence and wants to fill it up with meaningless chatter, as he usually does in his demented façade of normalcy, but he can't bring himself to. What's there to say, honestly? He never wanted to be a ninja, not really. He had once. A long time ago, for a reason that no longer matters.

"What am I doing?" He wonders aloud, bitterness welling up in him as he grimaces down at the wildflowers growing around the graves, "Is there…even any point to this?"

Genin at twelve. Impressive.

His brother was ANBU captain at _thirteen_.

And he's genin.

And what even for? What's really the point of being a ninja at all? In a village where an entire clan can disappear overnight with none the wiser, until it was all too late to make a difference? _What__'__s the point?_

(They're all puppets upon a stage, caught in a macabre dance where the only escape is death. Struggling and striving to survive, but what for? _What for?_)

Sasuke inhales the night air and breathes out. No point in becoming upset over nothing. Why even agonise about any deeper meaning, when nothing at all had a meaning to begin with? It's a closed chapter. A done deal. There's nothing else to expect, nothing else to hope for.

Being a shinobi is just natural progression for him.

What else is there for the last child of a dead ninja clan?

He sits up, rubbing a palm over dry eyes. They itch, _so bad_, that he's nearly overwhelmed by a mad urge to carve them out of his sockets. Can't do that, though, not when Hinata isn't even here to stop him this time. His eyes aren't solely his, after all. It's the only pair like it that Konoha has left, even if they don't know it yet.

Sasuke stands and steps back, looking upon the graves of Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Mikoto.

"I'll come back another day," he says, flashing a vapid smile and imagining faces of the dead in place of cold, unforgiving stone, "Wish me luck."

He has a feeling he will need a lot of it.

**—x—x—X—x—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

**x**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iruka: "Improvise! Adapt! Overcome!"  
Kiba: "Screw that! My ma's gonna murder me!"
> 
> This is an AU of canonverse, where the Konoha 12/Sand Sibs have very different personalities, skillsets and goals.
> 
> There's a lot of talk in-series about how had things been "different," Naruto and Sasuke could've been in each other's places. This idea grew from that (though I don't intend to do the cliché of making Sasuke be the idealistic shounen hero and Naruto the hateful traitor), then I started thinking about how terrible Kishimoto is at writing female characters. (He even admitted it himself smh but what kind of excuse is that? Like…just write them as regular human beings with their own ambitions?) And THEN I thought, why not give everyone a complete personality flip? I was excited when the concept of Road to Ninja was advertised, but the movie itself blows lmao. It felt like pure slapstick comedy; this fic is going to be a lot more serious than that.
> 
> That being said, the personality flip doesn't occur with everyone, just the Konoha 12 and Sand Siblings. Well, uh, most of the Konoha 12. Other than very minor and subtle personality changes, Kiba, Shikamaru and Chōji are much the same, but have very different dynamics with their teams. The rest of the Konoha 12 are radically different, in comparison, having reacted and grown from their circumstances in wildly different ways (e.g. Naruto is a very self-reliant orphan, Sasuke has massive anxiety and PTSD, Hinata openly rebels against her clan, etc), while others I had taken the liberty to give actual backstories (e.g. mostly the other girls lmao especially Sakura and Tenten). Unfortunately, I would likely not be able to give them equal spotlight and Team 7 will be the central focus of this series.
> 
> Cameos of the tiny genin! To start things of — I present to you Uzumaki Naruto, rookie of the year and a budding Sealmaster. When you have nothing and no one in the world, it's only natural to try and trace back your roots. Pathverse Naruto did that and tries to live up to the Uzumaki name.
> 
> Kiba is an average dude and not much different from Canon!Kiba. He does have a weird relationship with Naruto, though. The Obito to his Kakashi? Also hates everyone but his dog.
> 
> Hinata and Sasuke are childhood best friends. Sasuke is only ever mean to her; but she's kinda mean to everyone lmao. Snark masters. They're polar opposites; Hinata is your textbook prodigy (top third despite not even trying; she's only beaten cos Naruto and Ino are nerds) and Sasuke is that ridiculously average dude who easily slips past your attention. Easy on the eyes, but not very impressive (hence, no large horde of fangirls, though he does have secret admirers). He's a sad bean of a boy. Hinata is the friend he needs but doesn't want lmao.
> 
> Hinata also plays around with seals, like Naruto, hence his brief mention of "sessions" with her. They're teaching each other - she's got the resources he needs while he has more raw talent in it than her.
> 
> Ino is also a prodigy. Super overachiever. Salty that Naruto scored higher than her. Killer eye bags. Girl, get some sleep. Quiet and frequently mistaken to be shy, but oddly hostile to Naruto…?
> 
> Chōji is her soft smol childhood friend. Shikamaru is, too, but much less smol and not at all soft. Ino-Shika-Chō are the introvert trio; noise at their meat haven ruffles their feathers. Deer boy is competitive in an unorthodox way and competes with Sakura to see who can get a perfect 50%. Strange boy and stranger girl.
> 
> Sakura makes bets a lot. She always wins. She also wins hearts and is the dude-breaker to canon!Sasuke's lady-killer. Kiba is besotted, but never tell him that. The Sandaime seems to know her, but, from what she tells Kiba, she doesn't seem to ever remember meeting him? Mysteries, mysteries.
> 
> Shino is nowhere to be found! Does he exist? Legend says he does. Will we ever catch view of this elusive creature? Next time on Ninja Geographic…!
> 
> Word of warning: this fic is largely gen. The relationships are focused more on the platonic side of things. Any crushes are puppy (kek see what I did?) crushes that will ultimately result in nothing (rip Kiba) and none of the canon ships will actually happen here (rip SasuSaku, NaruHina). Romance isn't a core aspect of this fic so if that's what you're looking for, uh, you're in the wrong place. I just want these kids to be badass and happy.
> 
> tl;dr: this is an Alternate Character AU. None of the Konoha 12 and Sand Siblings (I'll just call them Core 15 from here on out) will act like their canon selves. The backbone of this fic is them having extremely dynamics with each other as well as differing goals and skills (and being badasses), so yeah, no Hokage-wannabe Naruto or avenger Sasuke or fangirl anyone in here. Minimal romance, but typical pre-teen ship tease will be present.
> 
> Kudos and Reviews appreciated!


	2. I: A Single Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi blames everything on the Sandaime's poor decision-making skills because, no matter how you cut it, there's no way this could be anything but one of the worst ideas ever conceived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda impt so you don't get confused: The first part is a childhood flashback. From here on, all chapters will have a kind of "cold open" prelude thing, and each would feature a snippet of their childhood, most of which would involve one of the members of Team 7. Also, you can tell they're flashbacks because they're written in past tense. I usually write in present tense.
> 
> Each chapter will be named after a Japanese idiom, proverb or saying, or a Japanese rendition of a famous saying. Some of them are a bit obscure and may need explanation, but this chapter's (which is a Chinese proverb) is pretty self-explanatory.

**—x—X—x—**

**senri no michi mo ippo kara / ****せんりのみちもいっぽから****  
** **"****A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step****."**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

**x**

Naruto stared dumbly at the kid in front of him, his automatic defensive aggression bleeding out of him as confusion filled his eyes. He blinked.

"What?"

The other boy — brown-haired, sharp-eyed and even scruffier than he — rolled his eyes and sighed, like Naruto was somehow being deliberately obtuse. Irritation flared in the blond as a knee-jerk reaction but he kept mum, still paralysed by his confusion.

"I _said_, are you free tomorrow? I'm inviting you over to my place for lunch."

"I heard you," Naruto retorted, blue eyes narrowed at the boy's condescending tone. "But why? I don't even know you."

At this, his forced indifference finally broke and the brunet boy gaped, spluttering, "Don't know me? Are you serious? We've been classmates for almost three months now!"

Naruto paused, trying to place his face. It was no use. He didn't make it a habit to socialise or even _look_ at another person; it was the very opposite.

Naruto would come to class on the dot, flee to one of his hideouts for lunch and make a break for it as soon as class ended. He didn't even practice with the other kids during the exercises, preferring to go to a corner and train himself, and it helped that the teachers seemed perfectly content letting him do as he pleased so long as he drew no attention to himself.

They tried not to look at him, either.

He had always assumed the same of the other kids, since no one really approached him for any reason (except that weird white-eyed girl who kept bugging him; he still wasn't sure what _her_ issue was). So, it was more than a bit surprising to realise this boy, whoever he was, seemed to not only recognise him, but had chased after him when class ended and was now inviting him into his home.

No, it was more than just weird. It was _suspicious_.

"Don't know you," he replied. The brunet gave him a nasty look for it, like he had bitten into a lemon, but instead of launching into a fit like Naruto expected, he only sighed.

"I'm Kiba. I sit _literally_ behind you in class, man."

Then it was even weirder how he expected Naruto to recognise him. What reason would he have to turn around?

"Why are you inviting me for lunch?" He asked instead.

Kiba rolled his eyes, crossing his arms with that false apathy again. "Would you prefer dinner?"

"Why are you inviting me _at all?_" Naruto demanded, getting frustrated by his evasive replies. From the way he acted, it didn't even _look_ like Kiba wanted anything to do with him, so what's the deal here? "Is this a prank? Don't waste my time."

The boy groaned. "Ugh! Are you sure he's the one, Akamaru? He's such a jerk!"

And now the kid was talking to air, gaze skyward like he'd rolled his eyes one too many times and they'd gotten stuck that way. Before Naruto could tell him to piss off (he's the one being a jerk!), a high-pitched yelp sounded from the boy's jacket and a small white head popped out from Kiba's neckline.

It's a dog. A very familiar dog.

Boy forgotten, Naruto ignored Kiba and stared at the puppy, his face going slack with shock. "You're the one from the other day! Why are you here?"

"His name is Akamaru and he's my _partner_," Kiba huffed, as the tiny canine squirmed loose and leapt up to Naruto. Startled, Naruto caught him reflexively and nearly dropped him again when Akamaru eagerly greeted him with a friendly lick on the cheek. Subdued by his bafflement, Naruto stilled, staring at the dog in blank shock. "Look, you're the kid who got in trouble a couple of days ago for getting into a fight with a bunch of the older boys, right? Because you were defending Akamaru."

"How do you know that?" Naruto asked back, confused.

He's not surprised about his knowledge about the fight, exactly; everyone knew about _that_ incident, as the gossip had spread like wildfire within mere hours. They had been keeping their distance from him even more than usual, calling him that crazy kid who went berserk for no reason. It wasn't for no reason, but that was something no one knew — or at least he'd thought so…

"Why wouldn't I know? Akamaru _told_ me." That made even less sense. He could _talk_ with _dogs?_ Who was this guy? "I heard you were almost suspended. That's stupid. Those jerks were the ones messing around with Akamaru! Why didn't you say anything? Ugh, don't just take blame for something you didn't even _do!_"

Naruto stared, unable to comprehend why he was getting so angry now. Was Kiba being angry on his behalf? _No, that__'__s crazy. He__'__s angry because those kids got away scot-free after beating his dog,_ his reason told him. But what was he supposed to say to that? How was he going to explain that he didn't trust anyone to believe him, that everything was going to be his fault anyway?

Blindsided and lost, he wound up telling the truth. "What's the point? No one would believe me."

Kiba opened his mouth, ready to angrily protest, but Naruto interjected, having quickly gathered his bearings after his brief hesitation.

"It's the word of three against one. Your dog ran off in the confusion, too, so it's not like I had any hard proof that they were the ones making trouble. Even if it hadn't run, they'd say _I_ was the one beating up your dog."

"He, not _it_," Kiba snapped back, scowling. "You still could've told the truth. Someone would've believed you. You're a nerd, always paying attention to the most boring lectures even when everyone else aren't. To teachers, shouldn't your word be worth more than a bunch of thugs?"

Naruto scoffed, readjusting his hold on the overly excited puppy. "No, because kids are liars and adults are stupid."

Momentarily stupefied, the other boy stared at him for a long moment, before shaking his head.

"You must be real fun at parties," Kiba muttered. Naruto frowned. Parties? "Well, whatever. Those creeps got what was coming for them, anyway."

"What?"

"After I found Akamaru that day, he had to be confined for a while, while he healed, so I only just got the full story from him," Kiba explained with a sneer. Naruto thought he looked remarkably snooty and vindictive. "But once I did… You better bet your ass my whole clan came after those idiots."

Naruto was not sure what that even meant. He wasn't sure he wanted to know, either.

"So?" Kiba asked impatiently, "You never answered me. Are you free tomorrow?"

Naruto frowned. "None of this explains why you're inviting me over."

"Are you kidding me?" He gaped, incredulous. "I'm inviting you over to repay you! Geez."

"You don't need to. It's not like I did it for anything."

"Hey, listen here," Kiba said, his tone suddenly changing and his expression becoming severe. Naruto shut his mouth with a click of his teeth. "If you hadn't helped Akamaru that day, who knows what would've happened? His condition was already pretty bad when I found him. Just—just come over and let my ma feed you or whatever because that's the least we can do, okay?"

Naruto thought about it. Suspicions now abated, the offer was actually quite tempting. That's one less meal he would need to worry about.

But he still had a few more questions…

"It's not a party, is it?"

He looked affronted. "What? No. I'm inviting you as thanks for saving Akamaru's life, man, he almost died. Why would it be a party?"

"So the food is all for me?"

"That's your concern?! Yes. _Yes_, the food is for you. I literally just said that."

"Can I bring back the leftovers if there are any?"

Kiba stared at him. Naruto stared back, utterly serious.

"I mean, yeah, sure, if there are," the brunet conceded with a long-suffering sigh. Naruto took a glance at the dog in his arms. Akamaru whined, pawing him pleadingly. He handed him back to the other boy, trying not to smile.

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

**—x—X—x—**

**Part I: Chapter I  
A Single Step**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

**x**

He reads the name — once, twice, a hundred times over — and struggles to swallow past the lump in his throat. Struggles to _breathe_.

His mentor's face stares back at him, surly and sharp-eyed.

_Uzumaki Naruto._

Kakashi is going to regret this. He can feel it in his gut — like acid in his belly threatening to burn a hole through his entrails, the faintest taste of bile in the back of his throat — but who is he to deny the Hokage?

They may not even pass, anyway. (And that's ignoring the fact that literally no one in the council would let him fail them. The _Hokage_ wouldn't let him fail them. So that's a dud.)

Tossing aside the files he had been handed at last night's jōnin assembly, Kakashi unceremoniously leaves his house via window and flashes over to where the Hokage had requested his presence. A personal meeting with the village head is one that he would never be late to, although it is only by virtue of self-discipline that he even mustered the will to step within a mile around this particular apartment flat. He finds himself on the roof, where the wizened leader of the village awaits him. Kakashi drops to a wordless bow and Sarutobi returns this with a small tilt of his hat, crooking his finger as a signal to follow him as they make their way down the stairs.

He can't remember the last time he even _used_ the stairs.

And somehow, he doesn't think this is all that would change in his life. Maybe he's just being melodramatic, but this feels like a small precursor to what would effectively be his life turning upside-down.

_Genin at five, jōnin at twelve, ex-ANBU operative, child prodigy and S-ranked war veteran,_ Kakashi thinks wryly, watching the door at the end of the hallway that he is being led to like a sheep for slaughter, _Also terrified of small children. Yup, sounds about right._ He wants to sigh, curl up, and maybe temporarily die somewhere. _Get it together, Hatake._

_Gonna wimp out, Bakashi?_ the Obito-voice in his head taunts, high and childish like he remembers. Kakashi shrugs at nothing, well past the point of caring. He's _old_; he's earned the right to not care.

_Twenty-six isn__'__t old,_ the Rin-voice chides, except it really _is_. He's twenty-six and he's outlived both of his teammates and their teacher. Minato never made it to twenty-six. Obito never lived even _half_ of that and Rin lasted only a year more than he.

As far as he's concerned, twenty-six is far too old an age for him to live up to. It's almost like the Shinigami is refusing him entrance to the next world. It's almost _annoying_, that's what it is.

_If that__'__s so old,_ the Minato-voice teases, genial tone expertly hiding all that sass, _Maybe it__'__s time to get a girlfriend. You__'__re not getting any younger, hm?_

Kakashi frowns. He pretends to think about it, as he usually does with ninety percent of Minato's suggestions, even though that's not really Minato's ghost in his head and just some weird coping mechanism his brain had contrived when he was about fifteen. Kakashi spaces out for a bit, wondering what it says about him — and, by extension, the Konohan authorities — that the bright idea of entrusting him with a bunch of young, impressionable kids is being greenlit. He hopes it has more to do with his respectable battle repute, rather than any fault or oversight of the authorities'.

…but it's probably the latter.

This is one of Sarutobi's worse ideas, Kakashi decides privately, right alongside let-Danzō-go-unpunished-after-literally-attempting-treason and induct-a-twelve-year-old-boy-to-ANBU-and-promote-him-to-Captain-at-thirteen.

On the fringe of his consciousness, Kakashi notes that the Hokage has bent over to pick up a stack of newspapers and a jar of milk delivered by the milkman, which he then deposits on top of a shoe cabinet after picking Naruto's lock open. Is that breaking and entering? Absolutely. Is he watching the Hokage breaking one of the laws he is supposed to be enforcing? Maybe.

But they're ninja — and anyone worthy of that title should damn well make certain that their house is protected from—

Just as he thinks that, Kakashi steps over the threshold of Naruto's front door — and promptly finds himself weightless as he is _flung back_.

It snaps him into focus instantly and Kakashi catches himself on the railing facing the door, narrowly avoiding a fall from the highest floor. The metal creaks beneath his feet from the force and he stares, blinking his eye in a mute stupor as the softly glowing sigils along Naruto's doorway dim.

The Hokage looks back nonchalantly, already inside and removing his shoes.

"Oh, yes," he intones, a small amused quirk to his lips, "I forgot to warn you about that."

Kakashi can't help but think that's probably a lie. He lets himself down, peering into the house while cautiously making sure not to cross the sill. Naruto's home is not neat, but it isn't a pigsty, either. There's an organised mess about it; most parts that he can see — which is pretty much all of it, besides the bathroom, as Naruto's flat isn't large to begin with — is meticulous and orderly, save for his unmade bed and desk which are both cluttered with a variety of books and scrolls. A few of those scrolls are unbound and hanging off of the table, indiscernible patterns and characters sprawling over the parchment like some kind of abstract artwork. An ancient-looking wooden chest sits on the bedside table, surrounded by hastily-scrawled notes. The place smells like ink and iron. It smells like a sealmaster, it smells like _Minato-sensei_.

Kakashi reels his head back. He fixes his gaze on Sarutobi, who is looking right back at him. Watching.

"What is this?" He asks, sounding much calmer than he actually feels. The Hokage considers the question for a moment, taking his time to put the milk in the fridge. Obito's eye itches.

"You missed out on a lot, Kakashi," the elderly man says, blowing out a puff of smoke. It makes the house a bit more bearable, because it's beginning to smell like Asuma instead. Better him than the departed ghosts of the past. "In the first month of academy, little Naruto started to get curious about his roots. He found nothing, of course," he rushes to say at Kakashi's alarmed look, smiling dryly, "Except for what it means to be a Uzumaki."

Something clicks. Kakashi thinks he's about to have a stroke.

"He's been dabbling in fūinjutsu since he was _seven?_" Kakashi asks, aghast, unable to decide between wonderment and trepidation. The sealing arts aren't something children should practice without adult supervision. Kakashi had been operating under the assumption that Naruto _had that_, but clearly not. What the hell had happened while he wasn't looking?

"Yes. By all rights, were it not for the new laws," _the new laws implemented after Uchiha Itachi__'__s grand meltdown that resulted in the slaughter of his entire clan,_ Kakashi hears the words left unsaid, "Naruto should've graduated much earlier. His growing skill in the sealing arts would've guaranteed at least a chūnin rank at this point — perhaps even a field promotion to jōnin in wartime."

Kakashi bites back a long-suffering groan. Of course. This is Minato-sensei's kid. What else was he expecting?

He's glad, at least, that it _isn__'__t_ wartime. _Fuck war,_ Kakashi thinks viciously and struggles not to show any of that on his masked face.

He sighs.

"And this?" He gestures weakly around the house. The Hokage smiles again, pride in his eyes.

"A fortification seal. It automatically expels unknown intruders and alerts him of their presence. I'm only allowed in here because Naruto registered me as a trusted party into the seal, but I have yet to fully understand the seal framework despite having the opportunity to study it up-close. I suspect Hyūga Hinata had a hand in this. He did mention study sessions with her."

Kakashi ruminates over it. He's heard of the Hyūga heiress in more than mere passing before, one of the few pieces of gossip that he actually picked up in local bars. She's the source of much of the clan drama going on in there — and there's _always_ clan drama. It's almost like the Hyūga are endeavouring to fill in the void that the Uchiha left. The girl frankly seems more Uchiha than Hyūga herself, with an expertly concealed temper and her high profile of impractical proportions. He remembers a time where talk of her possibly being the next Itachi — the next clan-heir-gone-crazy — filled the ninja gossip grapevine, but then again, Itachi probably snapped because he hid too much resentment in him. From what Kakashi hears, Hyūga Hinata is not shy about announcing her own.

Sometimes to a disastrous extent. Didn't she set her compound on fire once?

Kakashi backtracks. That's right. _She set her own house on fire._

Holy shit, where is Naruto _finding_ his friends? Academy? They're in peacetime. Academy kids should be…lighter, fluffier, softer, right? Innocent and light-hearted? _Actual children?_ Why is one setting houses on fire? Why is _this_ one playing around with seals? Why are they _friends?_

And…didn't she _literally_ emasculate that one Kumo-nin who tried to kidnap her? _When she was just three?_

Kakashi cringes. If that's what the "normal" kids are up to, he can only _imagine_ all of the things that must be wrong with Uchiha Sasuke.

Brain effectively short-circuiting, he's well in the middle of his own internal meltdown when the door of the neighbouring flat swings open. A girl with long, dishevelled brown hair spilling over her shoulder stares at him, half-bent to pick up the milk from her doormat. Glances at her neighbour's opened door.

In the next second, she straightens, glaring at him with venom. Hazel eyes narrow in suspicion.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She asks, so sharply that it makes him stare back like a startled deer, nonplussed.

"Er," he intones, feeling like he has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar when all he's really done was follow his leader like any obedient soldier. He looks to the Hokage for help, suddenly realising how _wrong_ this looks.

"Fuck's sake," the girl hisses under her breath, "I _told_ him he should make a seal to incinerate trespassers. Expulsion is just letting off too easy."

Kakashi sweats. It's good to know that Naruto has people who has his back, but… _Where is he getting his friends?_

"Hey! Pervert!" The girl yells, her voluminous tresses nearly aloft in her fury. It's just a ridiculous bed head, but her expression makes him think of Kushina and her dark, cutting smiles, blood red tendrils coming to life on its own and inching forward to grasp his throat in a chokehold. He steps back, palms held out placatingly. "Wanna know what happened to the _last_ idiot who tried to trespass? I'll tell you. Maybe even give you a first hand _demonstration_. He was crying by the end of it, after all that tough talk, wailing for his mother like a little bi— oh. Good morning, Hokage-sama."

Indeed, having taken pity on him, Sarutobi has finally stepped out and into her view, making himself known to the furious girl. He tips his hat at her, returning the greeting with an easygoing, "Good morning, dear."

The girl goggles at him for a bit, opening and closing her mouth several times as though she wants to ask something — like maybe why are there two old men sneaking around her twelve-year-old neighbour's house in the middle of the morning. Instead, she picks up her milk and papers.

"Have a good day," she nods at them gruffly, but not rudely, and, just as abruptly as she had appeared, retreats back into the darkness of her house. Though she has apparently decided that Kakashi is harmless if he's accompanying the Hokage, he still feels chagrined and a bit dirty for being accused and mistaken for a paedophile. He's a pervert, sure, but not _that_ kind of freak.

_Why did I leave my bed this fine morning?_ He laments, _I could be curled up with my Icha Icha…_

He realises from their brief interaction that the Hokage and the aggressive girl seem personally acquainted. This is not unusual, because the Hokage is beloved by the citizens of Konoha for a reason, his reign marked by a willingness to lend a sympathetic ear to his people, lonely orphans included.

_Especially_ the orphans.

He's been called the Father of Konoha in fond jest by the netizens, always found with a gaggle of children trailing after him whenever he chooses to walk in the streets. The more cynical, coldly analytical side of Kakashi wonders if at least part of that is a cover to interact with Naruto without attracting undue attention. Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't really matter. At least _he_ is actually interacting with the boy, not running off on mission after mission in a bid to outrun memories that haunt him.

_Quit being chicken, Bakashi,_ the Obito-voice tells him, solemnly lowering in tone. He blinks his eye hard beneath the headband, refocusing on the Hokage.

Sarutobi neatly steps over the threshold of Naruto's home, locks it from inside and closes the door. It slips shut with a decisive click.

"Come along now," the Hokage tells him, exhaling a puff of smoke that makes Kakashi's exposed eye water, "We have one more stop to go."

Kakashi tries not to cringe, hoping to the Sage that Uchiha Sasuke is not still living the the ghost town of the Uchiha districts.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

Looking down at the softly burning sensation along his wrist, Naruto frowns and pulls back the fabric to observe the seal flash. He recognises the signal to mean the old man Hokage's presence, so he's not particularly worried, but it is weird and kinda suspicious that he's visiting his house at a time when he knows Naruto will be away.

Then he feels a second, unknown presence briefly slam into the seal, before being unceremoniously ejected. He's brought a visitor.

Naruto doesn't think too deeply on it yet, filing away this odd occurrence to ponder over later. He'll just ask the old man afterwards. It could be anyone from the landlord-in-charge to the service man — he _had_ made a recent complaint about the sink being clogged — and there are other things that demand his attention, for now.

He tugs the fabric of his wristband over to cover his skin, just as the seal dims and fades into nothing, signifying that the Hokage has left his premises.

Paranoia fostered and bred into him by having to constantly watch his back in a hostile village demand him to make adjustments to tighten the seal's defences once he returns to his house. While Naruto doesn't register the Hokage as a threat, the reminder that he will not be home as often now that he is a shinobi alerts him to the possibility that others may try to take advantage of his leave to invade his home. Naruto makes the mental note to secure the parameters once he gets back; danger should only ever lurk outside, not within the safe haven he has so painstakingly built and jealously guarded over the years.

At the front of the class, Iruka is reading the team assignments. Naruto keeps a ear out for his name, still making notes and keeping track of all the ways he can bolster the lockdown seal. Hadn't Tenten once mention something about incineration?

The best offense is the best defense. It's worth consideration. He'll run the idea by Hinata later…

"Next, Team Seven," Iruka calls out strongly and Naruto straightens in his seat, sensing and catching his gaze. The man looks contemplatively at him for a moment, with that same odd look he always watches Naruto with, before reading the rest of it. "Your squad will consist of Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura."

Across the room, he hears Shikamaru scoff smugly.

"Told you so," he tells the rosette seated behind him, who wails a bit and slaps a handful of bills into his outstretched palm. Naruto pulls a face. What the hell?

At the back of the class, Hinata stretches her arms out and declares with needless gravitas, "I have been freed," right before the next team assignment places her with Inuzuka Kiba.

Kiba howls dramatically at this.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

Uchiha Sasuke does not, in fact, live in the dead districts.

_Thank fucking Sage,_ Kakashi thinks fervently, ready to fall to his knees and devote the rest of his life to monkhood, because this means that kid isn't as screwed up in the head as he could be — or maybe someone with the sense and power to overrule him had refused to let him dwell there all by himself. And also? Kakashi doesn't really want to step foot in those godforsaken streets. Not only is it a place of immeasurable tragedy, but it marked one of the greatest failures in the history of Konoha's military to have not sensed anything amiss until the deed was already done and Kakashi's own ex-subordinate, as well as the lone perpetrator, had long skipped town.

In a way, it is Kakashi's own personal failure as well. Perhaps if he opened his eyes a bit wider, saw a little more clearly, actually _known_ his subordinate, he could've foreseen it. The only consolation he has is that at least Obito hadn't been around long enough to see his entire clan fall into ruin.

And really, what kind of consolation is that? He wonders what Obito would've done. Follow his fury and swear vengeance on the small child he had once doted upon? For some reason, Kakashi can't imagine it. Even while trapped deep in the cesspool of enemy territory, Obito had fought to his dying breath fuelled only by his desperation to protect his teammates.

Obito wouldn't have went after Itachi, Kakashi decides. He would've stayed for Sasuke, so maybe that's what Kakashi should do — look after his last cousin and only remaining family.

_But what does Sasuke want?_

Kakashi is aware that he is woefully ill-informed on the happenings within the village. Not only does he mostly keep to himself, he was only recently released from the service of ANBU and spent most of his years outside the village, completing long-term missions ranging anything from information gathering to infiltration to assassination. As per his usual proverbial tug-of-war with the Sandaime, Kakashi only leaves the ranks of ANBU around this time of the year to test the unlucky batch of genin prospects, get inevitably disappointed and flunk them without mercy, before diving back into the dirty, sordid business of Konoha's secret ops. At this point, he's more up-to-date on Iwagakure's political climate and Kumogakure's yearly harvest than his own homeland's gossip — which, with the recent revelations pertaining to his former Hokage's child, he decides needs to be _immediately corrected_.

As though he had pulled a Yamanaka on him and heard his thoughts, Sarutobi pulls out a stack of papers from his robes and tosses the file to him. Kakashi catches it on instinct and stares at it.

"Sasuke-kun's psychological records," the Hokage clarifies, tucking his arms back into his billowing sleeves. Kakashi flips open the folder and blinks at the chronologically sorted reports. It spans over four whole years, indicating that Sasuke is apparently still seeing a professional, though it has gradually dwindled from weekly visits to every three months since the age of ten.

Kakashi stares at it, honestly a bit shocked that _someone_ had the sense to see to the boy's overall state of mind for much more than simply whether he is mentally fit and stable enough to pick up the kunai — until the Hokage adds, "He insisted himself and asked for the regular therapy sessions. Though it is not official, Sasuke-kun is under the care of the Yamanaka clan."

Oh. Well. That changes everything.

Kakashi stares at the boy's mugshot with a withering look. So much for that. At least the kid has the sense to approach a clan like the Yamanaka for help, but is that really a sign of sensibility? Weakness of mind? Or trauma too great for him to handle unaided?

He wonders if anyone taught him about clan politics; a clan is a clan and to be indebted in such a way may bite him in the ass later down the road. Kakashi makes the rare decision to be optimistic and hope that it is less of a favour and more of a charity case. The Yamanaka are less mercenary and cutthroat than most of the other clans — not by much, to be sure, but perhaps enough to take pity on an orphaned child. A glance at the file tells him that his main counsellor is the current head's wife. If Kakashi recalls correctly, they have a daughter in the same year as the Last Uchiha, which may have contributed to their taking pity on him; it's difficult to be hard-hearted to children when you have one of your own.

Deciding to scrutinise it in private at a later date, Kakashi flips it close and tucks it under an arm, observing his surroundings. Unlike Naruto, Sasuke's house is not fortified in any way save for a harmless few traps, so it gives him the opportunity to poke around a little. Compared to Naruto's controlled mess, Sasuke has the kind of chaos in his house that one might expect of an adolescent boy living alone and unsupervised, clothes thrown in haphazard piles atop his futon — where does he _sleep?_ — and cushions strewn about the floor like the remains of a collapsed pillow fort. A few scattered scrolls here, some kunai there, empty boxes of take-out fermenting in the bin and a mug stained with something dark. Kakashi bravely takes a whiff. Black coffee.

It could be worse, Kakashi thinks. Despite initial misgivings, he can see the boy is simply messy, not outright unhygienic, if a discreet sniff at the clothes tells him anything. They're fresh with the scent of detergent, so he must've just gotten them from the laundromat and simply didn't bother folding them away. Kakashi makes a note to introduce him to scentless soap.

The counters are spotless, indicating he barely cooked, though the curtains are parted and windows opened to allow sunlight in to nourish a few plants he has on the sill, one of which Kakashi recognises as a juvenile tomato plant. He stares at it, wondering. Does the kid intend to eat it raw?

Well, maybe it's just a hobby. Now that he thinks about it, Naruto had plants by his window, too. Kakashi hadn't looked too closely, having gotten sidetracked by the more urgent matter of some brat playing around with seals, but his had looked like herbs. That would make a great deal more sense, since Naruto's kitchen looked like it's actually used with an entire shelf of askew bottles of ingredients and spices.

Sasuke's shelves are mostly bare, or otherwise filled up with things it's not meant to hold, such as the stack of outdated academy textbooks overhead the kitchen sink. If someone were to rob him, they'd have tough luck trying to find anything of value, Kakashi reckons, though it's nothing he's impressed by given the indications that this was _not_ done on purpose.

The boy simply has no order in his life.

Meandering past the counter, he opens the fridge — and promptly closes it. All the kid has are store-bought onigiri wrapped in plastic and a few bottles of sauce.

_How is this boy alive?_ Kakashi thinks dryly, opening a cabinet drawer. He's immediately confronted with rows upon rows of canned food — primarily fish.

Maybe he just really likes tuna?

Kakashi shifts, bending down to take a closer look at the corner of the drawer. Is that…a hairball?

"Does he have a pet cat?" He asks the Hokage, who stops his monologuing about raising the next generation to raise a brow and shake his head.

"Not that I'm aware of," he says, then taps a finger to his pipe in a tell that signifies he's about to nag at him. Kakashi hurriedly tries to tune out. "Besides that, shouldn't you read that report? This team is quite a bit different than the previous ones you have been assigned." Kakashi wants to snort. Understatement. "You might get unpleasantly surprised if you don't do your research."

Kakashi ignores this and squints. He's more of a dog person, but there's no mistaking it… That's definitely a hairball. He nudges the drawer shut with his knee. "We'll see. They may not even meet my expectations."

"I see you haven't relaxed your judging criteria at all," Sarutobi notes, amusement softening the edge in his words, but Kakashi isn't fooled. He knows he's stuck with this team. If they don't know what it means to work together, Kakashi is expected to take them under his wing anyway and _pummel_ it into them.

It really doesn't help that people with genuine personal loyalty to Naruto and his parents are lacking these days. Minato-sensei was a civilian-born genius, both of his parents having passed when he was a child. The Namikaze was a small offshoot clan from the Senju, as are most of the smaller civilian clans in Konoha. In that sense, Naruto is not lacking in relatives, though they would _barely_ be related at all and the Namikaze lineage, barring Naruto, had died with Minato. Kushina-san was much the same — her clan is gone and scattered from the Siege of Whirlpool, her best friend was one of the many casualties of the Uchiha Massacre, and her students are all dead. Of both of their teams, Kakashi is the only student still alive and — with Jiraiya-sama out of the village — the only one trusted to guard, as well as watch, the Jinchūriki's growth.

Sasuke comes along as a bonus. Or, perhaps more appropriately, as a two-in-one package deal. Buy a Jinchūriki and get a Uchiha for free — that kind of thing, like those stupid automated advertisements that he finds spilling out of his old telefax after returning from one of his obscenely long missions. Though no one had ever confirmed it and Kakashi only has his own suspicions to go off on, there had likely been a practical side to the amiable friendship between Uzumaki Kushina and Uchiha Mikoto.

The Sharingan is famously touted for a number of mythical abilities, one of which allows them to _control_ Bijū. Unlike most of the wild rumours, this is one that has been irrevocably confirmed, having been well-documented in the records of the titanic final battle between the Founding Fathers, Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. It's mere speculation, but there were rumours that Mikoto and her husband Fugaku were similarly capable of such a feat and that perhaps it was the reason why Kushina and Mikoto had been placed on the same genin team, going against the long-held tradition of the two-boys-to-one-girl ratio. Not that Kushina would've _needed_ that, with her own bloodline and Minato at her side, but ninja are nothing if not cautious and the civilians unreservedly gossipy, and thus sprung the rumours. Unfortunately, it was these same rumours that later cost the Uchiha clan the backlash of suspicion and distrust…

Which is why it strikes Kakashi as _odd_ that, despite the lingering suspicions, they're choosing to leave Naruto in the care of the Last Uchiha. He can see that for what it is; Kakashi is neither naive or arrogant. As an outsider to the Uchiha clan, his visual prowess isn't nearly so great as to allow more than the slightest of influence over the Kyūbi; _his_ role is to ultimately mentor and push Sasuke in the right direction, to foster his untapped potential and make him into a warden to support the jailer. Like their mothers before them, the team assignments intends for Sasuke to be Naruto's failsafe…in case the Kyūbi ever went berserk again.

But they do not trust Sasuke. Kakashi is not so ignorant as to believe otherwise. The inner council — the elders, specifically — had absolutely no doubt in their minds that the Uchiha were the perpetrators of the incident twelve years ago, despite the lack of evidence. No, rather than trust, it's much more likely that they simply see Sasuke as a child they can easily manipulate.

Kakashi's hold tightens over the documents. His psychological report. The Sandaime mentioned that Sasuke had sought help… That would indicate that he is open to outside influence and admitting weakness. That's not always a bad thing, but… Elders always held themselves so loftily — with the right glasses, they could've easily misconstrued that as "easy to mould."

Whether that is true remains to be seen.

Kakashi sighs, fingers itching for the comforting weight of his book. He stills them, tilting his head back to look at the Hokage.

"I don't mean to question your judgement, Hokage-sama," he drawls, "But I'm afraid I'm quite possibly the worst person you could've picked for this job."

Sarutobi casually puffs out a cloud of smoke, perusing the strange array of knick-knacks Sasuke had collected along his display. He picks one up — an hourglass with black sand — and overturns it.

"And I'd beg to differ."

"I'd ruin them," Kakashi adds, weakly, watching the sand trickle to the bottom half. The Hokage only laughs.

"Here we have a boy who has flourished beneath the disdain of an entire village and yet another who have against all odds survived one of the greatest tragedies in Konoha history. You, ruin them? I very much doubt it."

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

"So," Hinata intones, casually sidling up to his side, "Sasuke and Sakura, huh. What a trainwreck."

Unsurprised by her approach, Naruto looks up from his bowl and levels a flat look. "I'm glad to finally be rid of you and Inuzuka. Rikudō-sama must've heard my prayers."

She scoffs, slipping into the seat beside him with an audible sweep of her oversized windbreaker, zips jingling. Naruto is well past the point of trying to chase her off — he's tried for nearly _six_ years now, to no avail — and suffers her presence with patience he hadn't realised he has. She flags down Ayame, who greets her cheerfully and readily takes her order.

"Tonkotsu ramen with extra serving, please."

Naruto watches as the waitress bustles off, before cocking a brow at his companion, "If you leave me with the bill again, I will risk life and limb to kill you."

Hinata is unperturbed, languidly tucking and folding her sleeves so it won't get in the broth. She casts him an aloof glance, forever unfazed in the face of his hostility.

"And your promotion to genin as well, I imagine."

Naruto groans, rolling his eyes.

"Ugh. What do you want?" He makes a show of looking around. "I thought you'd be with Uchiha at this time of the day. Go bother him instead. _He_ seems to actually like you — half of the time, at least."

"Don't be rude, Naruto," Ayame chastises with a frown as she returns. Naruto cringes under the look of disapproval, but still eyes the Hyūga heiress belligerently, which she returns with one of haughty amusement. Ignoring this exchange, the waitress turns to angle a perfect megawatt smile at the younger girl, lowering a bowl in front of her. "One tonkotsu ramen with extra serving! Enjoy!"

"That was quick," Hinata comments, smiling back politely, "Thank you, Ayame. Pass my thanks to Teuchi-san as well."

"Don't mention it!" Ayame's face brightens, and he takes this lull in conversation to wonder if _this_ is why Kiba always gets into a bitchfit whenever Naruto's exchanging pleasantries with his older sister Hana. Then he backtracks, because Naruto is not anyone's bratty younger brother. He's not even anyone's brother, period.

Then Ayame smacks him right on the head with a ladle. He yelps, coughing violently on his soup.

"_Ow!_ What was that for?!"

"For being so unpleasant to a lady," Ayame huffs, moving to wipe the counters. Naruto splutters, because no matter how she acts it, Hinata is definitely not a lady. Maybe skin-deep, she is, with her straight posture and daintily crossed ankles, but he's utterly convinced that she has the soul of an uncultured beast. Hyūga Hinata has a _reputation_ and no one outside the academy seems to see her for what she is and it _baffles him_.

He can't even begin to try and explain any of this to Ayame. How does one convince another that they're not looking at an cherubic angel with a halo, but a horned devil in plain sight?

So he falls silent, gulping down some miso to clear his throat and stewing in annoyance. Hinata pretends to see none of this and clicks her chopsticks elegantly.

…And that's, like, already pretty wrong, because who even eats _ramen_ elegantly?

Naruto counts to five — he seriously can't do ten, how can he be expected to do ten? — and breathes out.

"Okay," he says, making sure Ayame's back is turned, "Why are you _really_ here?"

Already familiar with her surprisingly ravenous appetite, Naruto is not surprised to see she has already polished off a third of her noodles. She finishes chewing before she speaks. Factually, he knows it's called being polite, but Naruto just isn't feeling it because everything she does feels like a wordless insult either ways, something which he suspects she'd purposely cultivated to piss off her clan elders on a daily basis. It'd be kind of impressive, had he witnessed it as a distant third party rather than learnt up-close from experience.

"To extend my congratulations, of course, Rookie of the Year. I hadn't had the chance to, after you ran off yesterday once the results were announced."

"Yeah, you can thank Inuzuka for that," he snorts, shifting in his seat to pin her with a _lo__ok_, "Listen. If you're here to tell me to lay off your boyfriend, you can save it. In the first place, we've been training to be shinobi. Warriors, fighters, soldiers. And now we are. I'm not going to treat Uchiha like some delicate, fair maiden."

"That would imply that treating _anyone_ like a maiden is within your capabilities," she rejoins easily, affixing him with a deadpan. "You need to do something about that temper of yours. It'll get you in trouble one day."

Naruto lets it slide off him, because his temper has done nothing but serve him well in a world where he has to survive by the skin of his own teeth. She's not the first person to tell him so, anyway; the Hokage has been nagging him about it for _ages_ and he's not interested in being told something he's heard a thousand times over. Variety would be nice, thanks.

He settles on sniping back at her. "Hello, pot, I'm kettle."

"Hello, idiot, I'm right."

Naruto glares at her, heckles rising at the insult. He's been called much worse things — monster, demon, bastard, freak — but slights towards his intelligence is something he takes even less lightly than his lack of family. An old scabbing wound, if you will, from the early days of academy when he could still barely read and write and was bullied viciously for it. Hinata _knows_ this, knows him like the back of her hand, as loathe as he is to admit, and he understands instantly that she's trying to prove a point.

Stubborn to prove her wrong, Naruto stays rooted in his seat, fighting the urge to _throttle her_. Hinata cocks her head.

"In any case," she drawls, "I'm not here to criticise your lack of control."

"Could've fooled me," Naruto scowls. "So what are you here to criticise?"

"The list would never end if I were to start," she muses, sighing with dramatic consternation. Naruto chews his ramen a bit more viciously than necessary. "Well, a group of us had met yesterday and it crossed my mind — no one ever told you we're to be sorted in three-man teams, have they?"

"Not before today," he grudgingly replies. By "group," he can assume she means the other clan children. Hinata _knows_ people, but she's selective about whom she associates with. To this day, he can't quite wrap his head around why she chose him to be one of them. Surely there are other scruffy, ill-mannered street urchins to pick from. "What about it? Is there something I should know?"

Hinata hums. "No. The opposite. There's plenty you're not supposed to know."

Naruto frowns at the cryptic words, impatient. "But you'll tell me?"

She seems to think it over, sipping the complimentary green tea thoughtfully. Her bowl is empty.

"You'll find there's a reason we're in teams," she says, and he waits for her to finish, but that seems to be all she wants to divulge. Naruto stares at her disbelievingly.

"Okay," he says slowly, trying to prompt her into continuing because that _can__'__t_ be it. Instead, she withdraws her wallet from her inner jacket pocket and counts her notes. Naruto makes a face. "_You know_, if you're gonna warn me about something, you may as well tell me all the details."

She shrugs, slapping some money onto the countertop. "What's the point in that? Some things you simply have to figure out yourself. Shinobi rule twenty-something-or-some-such-other — expect the unexpected, predict the unpredictable."

"That's not _anywhere_ in the rulebook! You don't even care about the rules!" Naruto blasts, slamming his chopsticks down. She stands up. "Hey! Listen to me! Is that seriously all you came here to do?! You nuisance!"

Unconcerned with the scene he's making, Hinata steps out past the noren divider, then pauses to rifle through her pockets. Naruto turns in his seat, holding the curtain open to glare at her, but before he can rightfully flip out and throw his teacup at her head, she drops a thin, elegant scroll in his lap.

"A gift to mark a milestone," is all she says when he stares up at her in blank surprise. Offering a rare, genuine smile, Hinata tips her head back with a laugh, ruffling his hair none-too-gently. "Happy graduation."

Embarrassed, Naruto throws the cup anyway. Scoffing, she sidesteps easily and strides off, whistling a jaunty tune.

A shop owner across the street starts screaming obscenities over his broken window. Somewhere deeper inside the stall, Teuchi laughs. Naruto realises too late that she's been proven right about his temper, after all. It just makes him angrier.

Ayame sighs.

"This is why you don't have a girlfriend."

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

Kakashi finds himself standing in front of the memorial stone soon after he parts ways with the Hokage, his vigil unbroken as he contemplates over the hand he has recently been dealt in life.

Kakashi doesn't particularly _want_ a team. Not really. Teams become family. He had been too hard-headed and blind to see this when he was twelve, but he knows better now — had looked at Obito's waning life and saw his father's corpse sprawled on his living room floor, thinks of Hatake Sakumo in the same breath as Namikaze Minato. The love and the hurt that comes with the loss are the same.

And he's really lost more than enough family. So no, he doesn't look forward to being forced within close quarters with a bunch of kids, green-horned and callow-eyed, innocent and unblooded and _fragile_. They will look up to him and depend on him as ducklings depend on their mother and he doesn't think he can _do_ that.

Kakashi isn't good at protecting people. He's good at killing them.

He had only skimmed through their files, enough to know their faces and names and general dispositions. He hadn't delved in too deeply in the section on their skills, since the academy grades the students only on specific requirements and doesn't take into account clan techniques or any talents well out of the realm of normal twelve-year-olds…like _sealing_, for example.

In the end, Kakashi chose to leave the Last Uchiha's psychological report untouched and unopened. It won't be fair on the boy if he becomes privy to such intimate details of his psyche just yet. He decides to wait until they've officially become a team and, ideally, until he has the boy's trust.

_Forays into the sealing arts… Psychological reports… Heaven forbid if the girl has a nasty surprise in store for me as well._

With his luck, Kakashi has probably just jinxed himself. She's definitely going to have a nasty surprise. His only solace that it can't be nearly as bad as what Naruto and Sasuke have in store for him.

He wants to slap himself. _I just jinxed myself again, haven't I?_

He's going to need to find a really good reason if he wants to fail them…or at least foist them off on some other poor bastard. Something more than "their teamwork is shit" or "they're going to get themselves fucking killed" because apparently, that isn't good enough for the council and the elders. _Especially_ the elders. Kakashi has a sneaking suspicion that they're one part of why Sarutobi has been trying to get him to take a team for…was it six years now? Seven? He doesn't see what the deal is. He's a genius and a quick learner, but that doesn't automatically make him a good teacher.

"Obito, Rin, sensei," Kakashi sighs, as the sun bears down on him harshly over his head. "What do I do?"

The stone has no answer for him.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

Their teacher is late.

Their teacher is _so late_ that even all of the academy instructors have long left for home.

Though he had planned to take a look at it when he had returned to the privacy of his home, his boredom has come to the point that Naruto decides to ignore his remaining classmates to unravel the scroll's containment seal.

He considers the new gift, an elegant and fine brush that feels too fragile and expensive in his hand. He bets it's worth more than his entire house — bets that she _only_ bought it to piss off her clan who have made it no secret that they disapprove of her fraternising with him — and is annoyed briefly for being so blatantly made _use of_ until he notices the ink-replenishing seal engraved carefully along the polished wood. He presses it to paper experimentally and watches black leak onto the parchment, then draws it away and scrutinises the way the ink _stops_.

This annoys him for a different reason, because they've been working on making a seal just like this and apparently she'd completed it without him. The last time they had worked on it, they'd only succeeded with forcing the seal into releasing the ink from the brush head and were trying to make the flow stop automatically when pressure is relieved. And here she is, presenting him with the completed project without even _leaving a note_ to explain how she had done it.

He's going to _smack her_.

Naruto occupies much of his time trying to reverse engineer the seal, using the brush ironically to draw prototypes, but every once in a while he would look up impatiently at the clock. He is considering the chances of fate — or other less supernatural forces — having a hand in delaying, perhaps even preventing, his long-awaited instatement as a ninja of Konoha, when his gaze drifts over to his other two assigned teammates.

He's never really talked to either of them before. Granted, Naruto typically does not go out of his way to talk to anyone at all, so that's unsurprising — mostly he just gets _harassed_ by Kiba or Hinata over one thing or another.

He's pretty okay with Sasuke. The other boy is quiet in the most unobtrusive way possible and Naruto hadn't hated the few interactions he had with him. He remembers _that one time_ Hinata threatened to cave in his face for setting off the dark-haired boy's anxiety, though — man, was that a shitshow — and he wonders if it's such a good idea to put them together on a genin team. Naruto isn't used to handling others carefully or pussyfooting around; he might have to get used to it with Uchiha Sasuke.

Blue eyes land on their third member. If Naruto is on one end of the spectrum of fortune, Haruno Sakura is on the other end. Naruto had even less interaction with her than Sasuke, but it's not like he doesn't know _of_ her at all; her entire person is _loud_, from her voice to her personality and right down to her hair and clothes. Sakura is chatty and a social butterfly, born into riches. Naruto isn't so clear on the details, but the Haruno clan is something like the top dog of the merchant food chain. Naruto remembers at least one instance where she got another girl's family in trouble because they were lower in power in the industry, after crying to her parents about bullies. Everyone stood on her side, but as a spectator, he remembers thinking her spoiled and manipulative.

He'd rather just deal with bullies by beating them up himself. No one sees _him_ run crying to the adults about that shit.

Although, that may be because there _is_ no one to run crying to. Naruto isn't sure. Maybe kids like her are the norm and he's the oddity.

He wonders if any of the adults specifically told her not to speak with him. Naruto doesn't recall a single instance exchanging words with her, at all. Perhaps it's not so weird for others, but Sakura talks with _everyone_. He's rather convinced she knows the entire cohort of their year as well as every year below them. He knows because he sometimes got dragged into Konohamaru's classroom between classes to help the boy and his friends with homework that had conveniently "slipped" their minds, and Sakura would be there chatting up a few kids about inane topics that had nothing to do with school.

_Oh, fuck me,_ he thinks, scowling in realisation. _I__'__m grouped together with an extrovert._

Somehow, the thought of it is even more galling than being paired off with someone he has to treat like glass.

Naruto glances at them and considers their usual seating arrangements — Sasuke in the back, Sakura at the side and Naruto in front. It reflects on their attitude in school, he supposes. Where he chose to sit up front so he can be the first out of the door once classes are over, Sasuke is usually skulking about with Hinata in the back and Sakura lurks by the window for distractions.

It is clear as day that Sasuke is reluctant about this ninja business; he never puts in any effort or shows any drive ever since that massacre fiasco nearly five years ago. Before that, during their very first year of academy when Naruto had still been absolutely pitiful in his results, Sasuke had been top of the class. They said he was a _genius_. Now he's riff-raff in the "painfully average" section. And Haruno Sakura? She treats it like a game. Naruto is willing to bet it _is_ a game to her — something to entertain herself with before she drops it like an old hobby and do whatever it is that merchants do. The fact that she apparently had a bet with Nara Shikamaru on who can get a perfect 50% and had been so thrilled by her dubious accomplishment is quite telling.

For Naruto, being a ninja is a means to an end. He doesn't care so much about ranks or reputation. It is a way for him to earn money and feed himself, now that he is seen as an adult. It is a way to grow strong and independent so he won't ever need anyone. Even with his pride as a Uzumaki, Naruto can safely say he cares not for the pride of a shinobi. It's just a job, not a way of life or a fundamental part of his identity.

…Probably a good idea to never tell that to anyone. That would just be giving people an excuse to question his loyalty and have him kicked out of the system.

There is a tap on his shoulder. He turns, only to be greeted with Sakura's disarming smile, the one that he sees her using on people to get things her way. Sasuke makes awkward eye contact with him over her shoulder and tries to smile, too. It falls a bit flat. Fake.

Naruto stares at them suspiciously.

"Hey, Uzumaki-kun," she's saying, and he wonders if this is the first time she has ever addressed him, "Wanna grab some food with us?"

"We just had lunch," he replies, wondering if she's the same sort of gluttonous monster Hinata is. That annoying girl came and went as soon as she was done with her food and imparted her cryptic "advice," leaving him no time to bring up that incineration seal idea. _Stupid Hyūga._

"Yeeeah, but like," Sakura pauses and considers him, childish pigtails flopping about her head as she tilts her head at him. She looks at him like he is some foreign creature. He imagines he looks at her in the exact same way. "Wanna ditch, anyway? Iruka-sensei already said our mentor is gonna be real late. We could go out then come back, lickity-split. It'll be fine!"

Naruto thinks about it. He could refuse and leave on his own, but he's probably stuck with them until he becomes chūnin or something, so there's really not much point in avoiding them. He could stay, too, in the event that their so-called jōnin instructor shows up while they're gone, but just sitting around like an obedient duckling leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

_Is this oaf of a jōnin even coming…?_

He shrugs, sealing Hinata's gift and snapping the scroll shut.

"Yeah, whatever. Fuck this guy; let's go."

In the end, Naruto stands up and leaves with them, if only out of sheer spite for the irresponsible mess that their supposed sensei clearly is. Sakura leads the way with an overly enthusiastic cheer, running ahead. Sasuke smiles a bit more genuinely this time as they leave the classroom and then the building.

He thinks maybe Uchiha enjoys being spiteful, too.

—**x—**

—**x—X—x—**

—**x—**

Kakashi finds the trio of little goblins — because that's what they are, the punks — on the rooftop garden of the administrative building near the academy, practically having a feast between them with boxes of takoyaki, teppanyaki and other street snacks spread out amongst them on the stone ground. The smell of it reminds him that he'd missed lunch, again. Without really thinking about it, he flashes in and snatches up a stick of karaage chicken from the paper plate the girl is holding, savouring the sound of the children yelping in shock at his abrupt appearance.

Naruto chokes on his food.

"My, my, what shall I do with you?" He asks no one in particular with mock-consternation and distracts them by waving his hands theatrically, sneaking the chicken beneath his mask and into his mouth while they're too busy preventing the blond from dying via takoyaki in oesophagus. "Do they let disobedient children graduate from the academy these days? The standard has really fallen."

"Do they let tardy jōnin with no concept of time teach the next generation?" The blond spits back, cheeks red as his fingers clench onto the water bottle the dark-haired boy had shoved into his hands. "I agree. No quality control these days."

What a smart aleck. He's belligerent, all right. Before Kakashi can drawl back a retort, however, the girl with the pink hair rises up to her knees, nearly bouncing with enthusiasm.

"Wow, that's so cool! How did you do that? You appeared out of nowhere, like _whoosh!_ Are you gonna teach us that? It's payment for the chicken you ate! I bought that! You owe me now! Please, _please_ teach me that—"

_Oh, Sage save me. An extrovert._

Kakashi fights back the instinctive cringe. He puts a gloved hand on her head, pushing her back down to a seiza sitting position, and it subdues her temporarily. The way she stares up with wide, expectant eyes beneath his hand reminds him of his dogs when he has treats on hand.

"Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Kakashi waves a nonchalant hand, feeling more cornered by the stars in her eyes than by Naruto's open disdain. The third boy is quiet and Kakashi decides at once that he is his favourite. "We haven't even introduced ourselves, yeah?"

He steps back to observe them. They act like a ragtag bunch and certainly look the part. Minato-sensei's boy is dressed in a way that reminds him uncomfortably of a dearly departed friend of his, with the green aviator goggles hanging from his neck and the unruly spiky hair. He's even wearing Obito's colours — a short-sleeved black shirt emblazoned with the red spiral of Uzushio on its sleeves, paired with a navy blue zip-up sleeveless vest with an orange hood and hems.

He's also wearing orange trousers with navy stripes down the outer side of each leg that fall just past the knees and black wristbands adorn his forearms; his hitae-ate hangs from his hip, the ends tied into the pants' belt loops and dangling in the same fashion a wallet chain would. It is the most impetuous and disrespectful way Kakashi has ever seen someone wear the symbol of their village and it gives him a good idea of what Naruto really thinks of being a ninja (best case scenario) or is perhaps an indication of what he thinks of Konoha (worst case scenario). Maybe both.

The girl is _bright_. Bright-eyed and bright-haired. Pale pink locks the colour of cherry blossoms are tied into two short pigtails at each side of her head with dark pink scrunchies. It makes her look rather childish, Kakashi thinks, which puts him on edge a little because of how easy it is to dismiss her. Her hitae-ate rests on her collarbone like a necklace, which is marginally better than Naruto's treatment of it.

She's draped in a huge hooded jacket; the dark pink material looks almost fluffy and on the verge of swallowing her up in its folds. It bears the white enzo crest of the Haruno clan on the back and, from the zips, appear to be reversible into a black jacket. He wonders why it is so oversized that it reaches her upper thighs; the Land of Fire isn't known for its cold temperatures. Worn beneath is a black top and khaki green minishorts, paired with black-and-white striped thigh-high stirrup stockings. Kakashi writes her off as an oddball; civilian-borns can be a bit of a weird lot. He's seen much weirder. (Gai being the weirdest because…_Gai_.)

The third one is the Uchiha, though Kakashi suspects he would never have known if he hadn't already skimmed through their files. For all his dark hair and dark eyes, the boy's aristocratic features are softened by a docile and decidedly _meek_ look. It is very unlike the hard planes of stoicism and pride Kakashi found commonplace within his clan, with some very few exceptions; he supposes this kid is one, too, with the darting eyes and general air of constant unease.

He, too, is wearing a jacket — is that the trend now? — a plain outerwear in a thin, dark blue material, with short sleeves and a propped collar — no noisy metal zips, unlike the other two. The ensemble is completed by a black undershirt, dark grey knee-length shorts and tapered bandages wrapped over his calves. The crest of the Uchiha clan is nowhere to be seen on his person, although he _does_ wear his hitae-ate the way it is meant to be worn, thank the Sage.

Kakashi knows immediately from their dress sense and overall disposition that the girl is going to be _Trouble_ and the Uchiha will be the closest thing to an angel he can ever hope for in a greenhorn genin.

He's still undecided on Naruto. Maybe a riot, like his mother was. The fierceness of his face reminds him of the spirited redhead, but the appraising look in his eyes is more reminiscent of his ever-keen and quietly observant sensei.

Kushina's ferocity and Minato's brilliance. Kakashi revises his evaluation; _this_ one has _Trouble_ written all over him.

First impressions made in the span of maybe two seconds, Kakashi casually hefts himself up on the rails and sits precariously on it. He folds his arms, eyeing them flippantly.

"All right, why don't we start with some introductions? Tell me about yourselves."

"Like what?" Naruto asks abrasively, eyes narrowed wilfully. Boy, the kid sure can hold a grudge. Or maybe that's just his normal personality.

"Your likes, dislikes, dreams, hobbies," Kakashi shrugs, "Things like that."

"You first," the boy insists stubbornly, "It's only polite to offer your name before asking ours."

Kakashi thinks about it, then shrugs again, not bothering to point out that neither of them care very much about politeness, considering he's late by over two hours and Naruto has a mile-long record of insubordination towards most of his teachers.

"My name is Hatake Kakashi," he says, and the Uchiha boy sits up straighter, recognition and interest in his eyes. That's interesting. He probably knows about Kakashi's reputation and Obito's eye, then. Perhaps he heard of him as a child from his clansmen? Kakashi knows he wasn't exactly popular with them back then, despite their allowing him to keep Obito's gift. He hums. "I don't have any intention of telling you my likes and dislikes."

Eerily identical sceptical looks cross their little faces. Kakashi can't decide if it's creepy or amusing.

"As for my dream," he makes a show of thinking deeply on it, then continues on nonchalantly, "I have many hobbies."

Naruto actually looks down at his water bottle like he is considering throwing it at his new sensei. The girl's eyebrows raise; the Uchiha boy's furrow. All three share a glance with each other, utterly silent. He honestly expected more protest; all the teams he's failed before them weren't shy at all to vocally — and sometimes loudly — object.

In hindsight, this should've been his first clue.

"All right," Kakashi says again, pointing at Naruto lazily, "You first, hothead."

The blond scowls at this, but acquiesces.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto," he deadpans, "My likes and dislikes are none of your business. Dreams are for kids and hobbies are for layabouts."

Kakashi stares at him, nonplussed. The girl pipes up next, before he can make any comment.

"I'm Haruno Sakura!" She says brightly, and her tone is such a one-eighty from Naruto's that it almost gives Kakashi whiplash. She's even talking with her mouth full, still chewing on her taiyaki. "I have lots of likes but lots of dislikes, too, and _tons_ of hobbies. I have dreams every night!" She leans in closer as if to uncover a huge secret, "Some of them are lucid. Those are the _best_."

_They__'__re ganging up on me,_ Kakashi realises, nearly snorting with amusement, and turns his gaze to the last runt to see if he would follow their lead.

He does.

"My name's Uchiha Sasuke," he says, with a too-polite smile that hides the bit of edge in his tone, "Like most people, I have some likes and dislikes. Don't really have a dream. And I guess I have a few hobbies."

There is a pause.

"Nice to finally meet you," Sasuke tacks on and the other two turn to stare at him in a mix of shock, approval and amazement at his daring.

They have perceived his little comment as a dig at Kakashi's tardiness, something that is apparently not in his nature judging by how utterly floored Naruto and Sakura look, but Kakashi wonders if the true intention of Sasuke's words is a reference to his fame as Kakashi of the Sharingan instead. He honestly can't tell and it's a bit mind-boggling, to be unable to get a read on a twelve-year-old brat.

This is the first time this has happened, he muses. Every other team Kakashi has ever failed were desperate to stay on his good side; even the ones who protested at his stingy introduction were never snide enough to throw it back to his face like this — and here are _three_ of them, banding together and teaming up on him on what seems to be a split-second decision. He can't tell if there is a ringleader amongst them; he's not blind to the likelihood that Sakura is probably the one to lure them out of the academy to begin with, with her high energy and exuberance, but Naruto is the one who comes across as the most aggressive and assertive of the lot, and may therefore seize the reins himself. Then again, there's a saying that it's always the quiet ones…

Despite his initial reluctance to test another team, Kakashi finds himself intrigued to see how they would fare in the bell test. Will they choose, again, to combine forces? Or will they turn on each other, as so many before them had?

It seems this year's cohort is going to be an interesting one. He wonders if the others had such amusing kids.

_Cheeky little shits…_

Kakashi puts a hand to his chin, hiding a smile beneath his mask.

"I really, really don't like you," he tells them, voice carefully flat. It does not have the intended effect; Naruto rolls his eyes and mutters something rude under his breath, Sasuke just smiles blandly and Sakura _snickers_. Well, that's fine. It's time to drop the bomb. "It would be such a pity if you were to be sent back to the academy after six, arduous years of classes…"

At once, they snap at attention, eyes on him like hawks.

"What?" Naruto demands flatly, utterly unamused now. Sakura smiles nervously.

"Hey, hey, it's just a joke, sensei. No need to take it so seriously?"

"Oh, _I__'__m_ not joking," Kakashi indulges in a sinister chuckle. Sakura immediately recoils, hands flying up defensively. Naruto is nearly white with fury.

And Sasuke… Sasuke, for all his placidity and that nervous air he wears like a cloak around his shoulders, is the only one to remain completely unruffled and unworried. He's not believing a word of it. It makes sense, Kakashi supposes; why _would_ a mere jōnin have the authority to keep the Last Uchiha from the battlefield? Why _would_ the heads of Konoha ever think to keep him in here when he could be put to much better use as a ninja?

Sasuke has a good head on his shoulders, at least, and Kakashi is glad for it. Were the boy as soft as he appears, the world would destroy him in an instant.

In comparison, Naruto would have reason to believe some higher power would try to keep him from achieving any success to his name. Constant ostracism and unfair treatment from adults would make any kid paranoid, even if Naruto does not yet have the means to understand the _why_ behind everything. From what Kakashi heard from the Hokage this morning whilst on the way to Sasuke's, the blond boy is under the impression that his parents were war criminals of some sort, given how no one ever tells him anything about them.

_He should know,_ Kakashi can't help but think, infuriated by the mere idea that Naruto could think so badly of his roots. He shakes off the thought. It is not his place to tell him.

Kakashi has his own role to play.

"Tomorrow, we will be doing survival training," he says, all faux-jovial, and makes a show of chuckling into his hand. "Ah, I call it training, but it's more like a final test to geninhood. Not your regular test, mind, oh no. You see, it has a 66% fail rate…"

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

When they are dismissed, Naruto immediately makes his way to his apartment complex, nearly bringing down his neighbour's door with the force of his knocks.

Tenten is understandably pissed when she throws her door open, clearly having just gotten up from bed — even though it's _five in the evening_ — and very dishevelled. Her hair is loose and wild, her bed clothes rumpled, and an ugly scowl is set upon her features.

"What the fuck do you want," she practically snarls. Naruto pays this no mind and shoves his way in, ignoring her hiss and kicking off his shoes.

"Dinner?" He asks like a peace offering, holding up a bag of the leftovers he had taken as his share from his impromptu little picnic with his classmates-turn-teammates. She stares at him with the face of death from the doorway, as he busies himself in her kitchen space.

She sighs.

"What do you want," she repeats, shutting the door behind her with a foot and throwing herself onto her secondhand couch with a long-suffering groan.

After confirming the timer and temperature of her microwave, Naruto turns to her and holds out the paper on which Kakashi had written the details of the survival training right by her head. She extracts herself from her cushions just long enough to stare blankly at it.

"If you have training tomorrow, why the hell are you here instead? Go prepare for it," she deadpans, unamused that he chose her off-day of all days to show up to her apartment unannounced. Her team called for a rare break and she had been looking forward to a full twenty-four hours of doing nothing but sleeping in. So much for that. Naruto withdraws the paper and starts pacing madly, ranting away.

"It's _not_ just training. That scarecrow of a man said it's supposed to be our last test, to see if we really deserve to be genin and if we fail, it's back to the academy we go. What the hell is with that? Did you have this _survival training_, too? He's not bullshitting us here?"

Tenten watches him as he paces. She yawns.

"Yeah, that's normal," she drawls, clutching onto a pillow and closing her eyes, "You gotta fight to stay on a genin team. Not everyone gets on one. If you fail, you have a choice of going back to the academy and trying your luck next year, or joining the Genin Corps which would almost guarantee a snail-pace rise in rank and a future as a paper ninja."

"_What?_"

"You'll be fine," Tenten dismisses, rolling over, "Probably."

"Tell me about this test!" Naruto insists, looming over her with a glower on his face and tugging at her shoulder. "What does it test on? My fighting ability? Strategy? How do I pass it? Hey, don't go back to sleep!"

"Shut up! Why would I know?" She nearly whines and he knows he's shaken her one too many times because next thing he knows, she's kicking wildly at him. Her foot catches him in the stomach and the force makes him grunt and stumble several steps before he catches himself, rubbing the forming bruise sullenly. "Ugh. Every test is different. It's up to the jōnin. Mine is bloody _insane_; he wanted us to be able to complete 100 laps around the village in a single morning to test our resolve and youthfulness or whatever. Literally _anyone else_ would've been better, so just be glad you didn't get him."

"Youthfulness?" Naruto makes a face. Rousing from her drowsy ramblings, Tenten immediately angles a look of absolute _disgust_ just for saying that word, even though she was the one to say it first. He stares at her.

A hundred laps doesn't sound that hard, to be honest. He knows better than to say it, though, since that's likely attributed to his Uzumaki stamina; he has a bad habit of overestimating the human body's limit thanks to that and could go for _hours_ non-stop during academy free sparring sessions. Only Hinata has ever been able to keep up, so they more often than not wounded up pairing off against each other. It earned them a reputation for being "monsters" amongst their peers.

He wears the word like a badge of pride on his shirt now. (It is, at least, a name he's _earned_.)

The microwave pings loudly, snapping him out of his thoughts. Tenten lifts her head and sniffs the air.

"Is that yakitori?"

"Yes," Naruto says, but doesn't move. She looks at him, sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Top drawer," she says, thrusting a thumb in the direction of a cabinet. "Each scroll contains parchment and several bottles of seal ink. You can have two."

Naruto stops in the middle of rifling through said drawer, glancing up with a puzzled look. "Two? That's a bit too generous for some food. What's the catch?"

Tenten gives him an unusually subdued look, but it passes quickly and leaves him no chance to deliberate over it. She scoffs and stands up, stretching as she makes her way to her kitchen. "No catch. Just take it. Think of it as a graduation gift. Congratulations, by the way. Top rookie, huh?"

Naruto is silent for a moment, looking down at his hands, a scroll in each. He doesn't look at her, struggling to spit out, "Yeah. Thanks."

He's never been good at receiving things. He's never been good at thanking others, either. Rushing to change the subject, he closes the drawer and turns to question her, "How are the seals, by the way?"

Tenten looks up from her stick of chicken, blowing lightly at it to cool it down. She surveys her hand as though considering his question, then shrugs. "They're fine. They haven't been giving me any trouble, so I don't think they need any maintenance."

Naruto snorts. "Sorry, are you the seal expert here? Just bring your food here and sit down. Let me have a look."

Looking a bit peeved at being ordered around in her own house, Tenten grudgingly does as he says and plops onto her couch, limbs akimbo as he begins to scrutinise her.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

From the moment he opens his door, he finds a crow perched boldly upon his tomato plant, staring at him right in the eye.

Sasuke stares at it. It stares back.

"Arghh! _You again!_" Sasuke screams, breaking out of his stupor to dash forward, swinging his bag to try and hit the bird. "Leave my tomatoes alone!"

The bird hops out of the way, spreading its wings and fluttering about his house. It seems to cackle at him from above, cawing in delight, "_Ahō, ahō!_"

It takes him embarrassingly long to chase the crow out of his house; after making him run about all over the living room, it glides out of the window eventually, apparently reaching its daily quota of dicking around with unsuspecting Konohan citizens, and Sasuke furiously slides the window shut the moment it has gone, face flushed red in annoyance. He sighs, tossing his bag aside.

"I already know I'm an idiot. As if I need you to tell me," he grouses, staring down at his feet and realising he had tracked dirt all over his floors, having rushed in without remembering to take off his shoes. He groans, kicking his sandals off. "Stupid crow. Stupid birds. Stupid shoes…"

After the tedious task of cleaning his floors, Sasuke sets about making sure everything is in its place. It wouldn't be the _first_ time that vile thing took one of his belongings, which is a very magpie thing to do so maybe it's not a crow at all. He doesn't care. Sasuke doesn't know birds, so he'll just keep calling it a crow. He's pretty sure it's the same one that keeps terrorising him, at the very least, because it seems to delight in his aggravation. Sometimes it takes things, sometimes it leaves things, sometimes it eats his food, but this is the first time it tried to _destroy his plant_.

Sasuke stares at the abused vegetation, mournfully picking up a brutalised tomato. It's been punctured through by the beak and grappled by clawed feet, the juices seeping between his fingers and spilling onto the soil. He groans.

"I hate birds," he grumbles, tossing it in the trash.

A playful voice sings out, "What about cats?"

Startled, Sasuke turns with wide eyes, before they narrow and _spin_. The darkness of his house sharpen into clarity, every shadowy corner brightening as though it were daytime. He easily picks out the second presence in the room, glowing with chakra, and breathes an exasperated sigh at the familiar silhouette.

He shuts off the chakra flow to his eyes, sagging into the seat by his counter. The air in front of him shimmers, before a slinky black cat materialises at his feet. The forked tail behind it waves languidly through the air, golden eyes alight with mischief.

"Not happy to see me?" The cat purrs, hopping into the disgruntled boy's lap with a smooth, elegant leap. Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"I'd be happier if you had defended my home and chased off that damned crow before it could do any damage…"

The cat snickers. "It would've died anyway. You do not have a green thumb. Don't you think it's about time to admit defeat? I think you're the real villain here, since you persist despite having already killed five plants…"

Sasuke frowns. "Just for that, I don't think I'll feed you today. Please come back after polishing your manners, Tsuyu."

"What?" The cat gasps dramatically, but Sasuke ignores this in favour of standing up, forcing the feline to leap off his lap or risk a tumble to the ground. "You can't be serious, little lord. What else am I supposed to eat?"

Sasuke shrugs, glad to have eaten outside rather than bought take-out. The thieving cat would've no doubt stolen his food, otherwise.

"Maybe find someone else to mooch off?" He suggests, picking up the dirty cup he had left in his rush in the morning and running it under the tap water. "Or you could always hunt in the streets. If I recall, there have recently been a rat infestation in the western districts. It'll be a great way to lose some calories. You could use the exercise."

"My word, are you calling me _fat?_ I think you're the one who needs etiquette lessons. You don't call a lady fat."

Sasuke just grins, unable to help his amusement. His cats are so _dramatic_.

"What lady?" Sasuke sasses back with a smirk, flicking some water in the direction of his companion. Tsuyu yowls at this, skittering away to dodge it. Sasuke snickers, patting his hands dry. "I only see a freeloader."

"Tsk, this child," the cat grumbles, watching the boy retreat into the bathroom to draw a bath. "I suppose you won't care to know that someone had invited themselves into your house early this morning, then."

Sasuke scoffs, nearly shouting so his voice would carry, "You mean _you?_"

"I meant the _Hokage_."

"Oh," Sasuke blinks as he exits the bathroom to retrieve a fresh change of clothes, then shrugs. It's not exactly an uncommon occurrence; the Hokage has made it a habit to check on him from time to time, despite his polite deflection. Except…it's odd if the Hokage had came here without knowing he'd be at the academy receiving his team assignments.

"There was another man with him," Tsuyu says casually, sharp eyes picking up Sasuke's growing unease. "Tall, lanky, pale hair."

"Did he have a mask?"

"Mm, that's the one. A bit of a strange human. The last person I've seen so covered up was a man from Iwagakure during the First Shinobi War."

Sometimes, he forgets that his haughty summons actually _have _reason to be so, what with their tendency to act like children. Sasuke ponders over this revelation for a beat. Now what would his newly assigned mentor be doing here? From the sound of it, it seems the Hokage had been the one to bring him in.

Sasuke drops his bundle of clothes on his bed and does a brief sweep of his apartment, double-checking the traps. At first glance, none of them had been set off, which is not surprising; no way a jōnin and the Hokage would be so sloppy as to leave traces of their presence. Sasuke's traps aren't meant to be harmful or work, however, at least not the way one would expect them to. Most of them are diversions to the main purpose…

He lifts one of the floorboards, peeling off the paper stuck beneath it. Hinata had put that there herself, chiding him for leaving his apartment too unprotected. It was some kind of paper made from a chakra-absorbent tree that changed colour when it came into proximity of chakra signatures. The white bleeds a stale blue where Sasuke touches it, overlapping a deep earthy brown and a shock of steel grey.

"Chakra prints," Sasuke sighs with furrowed brows, rolling up the paper and tossing it in the trash. It's useless now that he knows their identities. Tsuyu watches him, tail flickering lazily behind her. "What were they even doing here…?"

Tsuyu smiles smugly, "As with all things, knowledge comes at a price, little lord."

Sasuke stares blandly. He huffs. "One can."

"Three."

"Don't be greedy! Two."

Tsuyu thinks about it. "Three and I will gather any information you want of the one-eyed man."

Sasuke clicks his tongue, before relenting with a groan. "Fine, fine. Three it is. Now out with it."

"It seems the Hokage brought him here to get him to commit to his job as a teacher," Tsuyu begins, splaying languidly over his counter. He kind of wants to push her off a bit, because _no cat hair on the counter, damn it_, but he has also Officially Given Up and this is his life now, so whatever. "From the sound of it, he's had other teams assigned to him before. There was also a mention about a judging criteria, so it can be assumed there will be a test. Oh, and also he thinks you've got a pet cat."

Sasuke's brow raise as he slots the floorboard back in place, having replaced the paper. "The Hokage?"

"No, no, the cyclops. Don't you think that's insulting? _Pets_."

"Indeed," Sasuke drawls, "That would imply I keep you here out of my own free will…"

"Don't sass me," Tsuyu snipes, her tail twisting in the air as though something just came to mind. "Oh, that's right. The Hokage gave him your psychological report."

Sasuke pauses as he makes his way to his bed, then recovers quickly and picks up his change of clothes. That's only to be expected… His direct superior should be informed of his state of mind and though he trusts Reika-obasan and the Yamanaka clan to otherwise honour his privacy, he also knows they have the obligation to report their findings to the Hokage. Yes, this is fine. Fine. Just fine…

The way Tsuyu eyes him tells him she thinks otherwise. A cat's hearing is sharp. It probably sounds like he's about to have a heart attack. He _feels_ like he's about to have a heart attack.

Sasuke drops to his knees, burying his face into his sheets. Suddenly, it's hard to breathe. It's hard to think. All he can hear in his mind is how he's going to _die_, he doesn't want anyone to know, how could they do this to him, how could they betray him, _why does everyone always—_

"Stupid boy. Don't cover your nose. _Breathe_."

He can feel a genjutsu cloaking his senses, dulling everything, and can't find it in himself to fight it. He lets it cloud his mind, compel him to lift his head from his bedding, and breathes in deep. Exhale. Inhale, exhale. Slowly, Sasuke. Slowly.

One breath becomes two becomes five then ten then thirty until he can feel the genjutsu lift and he in control of himself once more. Sasuke breathes a shaky sigh, easing the heels of his palms off of his eyes. The release of pressure makes his sight go dark before stars bloom over his vision, and he distracts himself with this for a long moment, trying to regain the mask of calm he'd so painstakingly crafted over the past four years…

He's appalled. When was the last time he had an attack like that? Over a year ago, probably… The only consolation is that this one wasn't in public. It's been even longer since he let himself be that vulnerable around strangers.

Sasuke hates it more than anything. He hates this fear that grips his heart like a vice, squeezing until it feels like he can't breathe, can't live. Sometimes, he just wants it to end, this farce of an existence he's living.

He bites his cheeks, hard enough to bleed. It hurts and he savours it. It gives him something to concentrate on. He tastes the blood on his tongue and it reminds him he's alive.

"I'm okay," he says aloud. Tsuyu stares at him.

"You better be. I need someone to open those blasted tins for me."

Sasuke is pretty sure she doesn't mean to do it, but it makes him laugh. Probably a bit hysterically, but he laughs anyway. He stands, bundle of clothes tucked beneath his arm, and takes three cans of tuna and an opener from the kitchen drawer.

He pops open the first one. Tsuyu peers into the drawer.

"You might want to clean up that hairball."

"Maybe don't leave them here and clean up after yourselves."

"That's not mine! Look at that colour. It's obviously Yuzu's."

He pops the second. "Huh. I guess so. You cats are an odd lot. Such fussy clean freaks, but making so many messes…"

"Don't lump me with Yuzu."

The third peels open. Sasuke pushes all three cans to the black cat. Tsuyu pauses over one, eyeing him shrewdly.

"Well? What do you want me to find for you?"

Sasuke blinks, then pastes his well-practiced smile on his face. "Oh, that. I think I'll cash in on that favour some other time."

"Oh?" The forked tail flicks in interest. "You're not concerned about this test or that human?"

He thinks about it, then shrugs and turns to the bathroom. "Not really. What is he gonna do? _Fail_ me?"

He'd pay to see that happen.

**—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

At the break of dawn, the three newly minted genin of Team Seven assemble at Training Ground 3. Only one of them came on an empty stomach as per instructed.

Naruto turns, cocking a brow at the sound of a rumbling stomach. "Didn't you eat?"

Sasuke blinks, then shrugs, "Sensei said not to, didn't he?"

"And you listened to him?" Naruto demands, looking unimpressed. Sasuke slaps a sheepish smile on his face and offers a self-deprecating laugh. Naruto rolls his eyes and huffs, shaking his head.

"I bet he's gonna be real late again," Sakura pipes up, giving a great yawn as she leans against a battered training post, smacking her lips. Digging through her bag, she shoves an onigiri beneath his nose. Sasuke recoils instinctively at the sudden movement, watching her in bafflement. She just shakes it in his face meaningfully. "Eat up, no good to be on an empty stomach. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Don't worry, he's not anywhere even close."

_Am I the only one who obeyed his instructions?_ Sasuke wonders, exasperated, but gives in and takes the proffered snack. He _is_ hungry and she's probably right about Hatake Kakashi's tardiness, anyways, and if the training is so tough that it'll make him throw up, it'd matter very little if he threw up food or bile.

"Thank you," Sasuke says politely, slowly unwrapping the onigiri. She hums back vaguely, curling around her bag like a pillow and tucking her face between her knees in a foetal position. Sasuke wishes he could sleep, too.

_Mornings are the worst._

In stark comparison, Naruto seems completely awake. The other boy had first came with his nose deep in a book and he's been diligently drawing strange symbols on paper after paper for the past two hours, somehow able to stack them immediately after without the ink sticking the pieces together. Sasuke watches him as he eats, idly wondering if he's using his chakra to dry the ink. He doesn't know anything about seals, besides how to activate the mass-produced paper tags sold at weapon stores, and Hinata hadn't seen it fit to invite him along on her studies with the blond.

Come to think of it, despite knowing all of the kids and fostering semi-friendships with most of them, Hinata never arranged any group outings or study sessions. Even the dinner the day before was arranged by Sakura, who enthusiastically invited everyone in sight (to Ino's exasperation, Sasuke suspects). As a result, he's never really spoken with Uzumaki Naruto that much, save for a couple of group exercises, despite the fact that he's also a close friend of Hinata's.

He _thinks_ they're close, anyway. It's difficult to tell, with Naruto's standoffish behaviour and Hinata's strange gestures of friendship. She's one of the few who actually interacts with him with any frequency, which Sasuke attributes to a mix of her social obtuseness and unflappability, given Naruto's often explosive temper.

As if hearing his thoughts, Naruto glances up and stares at him in the eye. Flustered to have been caught staring, Sasuke averts his gaze hurriedly, nearly missing his next words.

"Hey. What do you think we're going to be tested on?"

He hadn't expected that. _Is he trying to strike a conversation?_ Sasuke goggles a bit at this, because he's never really seen him initiate a conversation with _anyone_, not even Hinata, but then he realises the boy is just trying to gather information. Why he thinks Sasuke can be a source of it is anyone's guess.

"Maybe he wants us to fight him?" He offers, uncertain. To be honest, Sasuke hadn't spared it much thought at all, having conked out easily the night before after performing his daily household chores and shooing Tsuyu off. The threat of going back to academy isn't very much of a threat at all when one doesn't care about being a shinobi. It brings up the issue of what he's going to do if he _doesn__'__t_ become a ninja (unlikely, but possible, if the council wants to keep him around to pass his genes on), but he's positive he'll figure it out eventually. Maybe he could just be a metalworker or a blacksmith. There are options, and at the very worst, he has his clan inheritance, which is worth no small fortune. The Uchiha _is_ a noble clan, after all.

_Was,_ he amends blandly.

Above all — to be completely, utterly frank — Sasuke hasn't cared about anything for a very long time. The test is the least of his concerns.

"Maybe," is Naruto's non-answer, slow and ponderous.

"If that's true," Sakura says suddenly, voice muffled as she groans into her arms, "We'd be totally _screwed_. He's a jōnin and I hear he's a war vet and hero. He can use a thousand jutsu! He'll lay us to waste in less than a minute. We've never even been in a real fight before."

The boys fall silent at this. Sasuke can see Naruto retreating into his mind, thinking deeply on his options and chances. He fidgets, twisting and rolling up the onigiri wrapper in his hands nervously. It crinkles noisily, filling the silence.

"They call him the Cyclops of Konoha," he offers, not meeting their eyes even as he can feel theirs on him, "The Copynin. He can apparently copy any technique you dish out and was a student of the Yondaime's. If we're to fight him, we can't reasonably be expected to win, so there must be some other objective to complete."

"Unless we're set to fail," Naruto mutters darkly, but before Sasuke can ask why he would think so, he wipes the expression off his face and levels a leery look at them. "You two sure know a lot about him."

"He's famous," Sasuke shrugs. It's the truth, but not the whole truth. He thinks about the cousin he's never met, whose eye is in Kakashi's socket, and clams up. There's little point in talking about the dead.

"Yeah, super famous," Sakura sighs, shaking the creaks out of her neck. "I did some research last night to collect information about him. Know thy enemy and the battle is half won; doesn't the saying go a bit like that? Found out all I could about him and then some."

Naruto raises a brow, snarking back, "So, what, you can destroy his life if things don't go your way?"

The accusation visibly startles her and she blinks rapidly at him, green eyes wide. Sasuke shifts, uncomfortable with the sudden change in atmosphere, but then she breaks the tension with an easy laugh, not seeming to sense it at all.

"Oh no! My diabolical plot has been exposed!" She bemoans theatrically, an amused smile tugging at her lips as she threads a hand through her right pigtail, "How about it? If he fails us, let's just ruin his life, easy peasy. I even know where he lives. We could set his apartment on fire and everything."

Sasuke is not entirely sure if she's joking. "No, thanks," he says anyway, just in case she's not.

To his chagrin, the irritation on Naruto's face clears as he seems to actually give the idea some thought. He shrugs, stacking his seal tags. "I'm in."

"Sweet! That's a deal, then!"

_A deal with the devil,_ Sasuke can't help but think, watching them with a dry look that he carefully hides with a placid smile when they turn his way.

"Uchiha-kun, you know fire release techniques, don't you?"

He can't believe it. _She totally ignored me!_

"I'm not burning down his house," Sasuke corrects gently, probably too gently because Naruto just speaks over him.

"I could explode it," he says, utterly serious as he holds up his stack of seals. "We could pass it off as an accident. His fault for not keeping his bomb tags right."

"No _way_, he lives in a pretty densely populated road. You know Midorikawa Street? That's the one. We don't want to have too much collateral damage."

"What's the area of his house? I can adjust my tags' splash zone."

"But if you do that, no way that could pass for an accident! Look, fire is the easy way to go! It's unlikely a jōnin would forget to store his ninja-y supplies away properly, but normal people stuff like forgetting the stove is totally in-character for shinobi! They sacrifice common sense for their awesome skills! Everyone knows that! Fire is our best bet!"

_Normal people stuff? What do you know about normal people?! This entire conversation isn__'__t something any normal person would come up with! You__'__re both insane!_ Sasuke gapes, watching the two banter back and forth with incredulity. _This is ridiculous. How can they talk about something so silly with such serious faces?! Oh my god._

Sasuke wishes he hadn't gotten up this morning.

Sakura turns to him in the middle of his internal monologue, eyes wide and compelling. He freezes and shrinks back, trying to catch Naruto's eye to plea for help, but the other boy is already standing up and walking off with his seals, grumbling along the way. Sakura obscures his view by leaning forward on her hands and getting right up to his face.

Sasuke scoots back in alarm, trying not to yelp.

"I've checked," she says with a grin, eyes alight with some kind of inconceivable insanity. He gawps.

_Ch—checked what?!_

"Sensei is off active duty for the next week—"

_How did you even access the roster? That's sensitive information!_

"And he returns home after training to cook dinner for himself! So he definitely uses the stove. His favourite dish is eggplant and he always buys from the same vendor who sets aside some for her long-time customer, 'cause he always swings by late after the morning rush after everything has already sold out, you see."

_I don't_ _see. I don't __see! How does anyone even get this information? In one day?! Why is this plan sounding more and more un__n__ecessarily complicated? What is this?!_

"And that's our opening! We can spike his food! Since it's set aside, there's almost no chance of it being mixed up and sold to another customer. And once he's knocked out cold, we can put him in bed and rig it to hurl him out of the window when the explosion occurs."

_What happened to no explosions?!_

"Once that's done, we'll switch on the stove. We can't tamper with the pipes to make the gas leak, since that'd make it too obvious. Then we start a fire! When the fire ignites the gas, it'll cause a small explosion and burn up the mattress to cover up the rig. Poof! All evidence gone! And sensei will be outta the window, 'cause we ain't out for his life and murdering our own people is, like, a no-no."

_And setting their house on fire isn'_ _t?! What…_

"And tada — that's all there is to it!" Sakura finishes with an excited flourish of her hands, looking way too accomplished for a twelve-year-old girl with a legitimate plan to destroy a jōnin's private quarters. Sasuke stares at her in a daze. "Simple, right? What do you think, Uchiha-kun, Uzumaki-kun?"

Deciding not to respond to the question (something tells him she won't listen to reason), Sasuke opens his mouth to tell her Naruto had stalked off while she wasn't looking, but she twists and directs her question to the blond who is suddenly very much there, looking like he only just got back to catch the tail end of Sakura's demented plot. The stack of seals he had left with is gone. Sasuke really doesn't want to know what he did with them.

"Brilliant," Naruto deadpans, and Sasuke can't tell if he means it. Probably not. He hopes not. "Isn't that masked asshole here yet?"

Sakura shrugs. "Nah. He'll be here soon, though."

That's the second time she's hinted at knowing Hatake Kakashi's present location… She had assured him earlier that he wouldn't be around to see Sasuke eat the onigiri. The idea that his new teammate — someone who he's been classmates with for _years_ — might be stalking a grown man to the point of knowing his entire schedule makes Sasuke speechless. Her absurd plan is nearly driving him into hysterics, and not the good kind. He hopes he fails. There's no way he can survive her company with his sanity intact, at this rate.

He hypothesises that she'd be the cause of his first public nervous breakdown in years. Sasuke almost wants to have one _now_. Anything to excuse himself so he can go back to bed.

Sweet Rikudō, _why_ did he get up today?

"Ah, good, good, you're all here," a new voice speaks up then, foiling Sasuke's plans to sneak back home so he can miss the test. Naruto scowls.

"And where the fuck have _you_ been?" He snipes, ignoring Sasuke's look of muted horror. "Who tells someone to meet them at the buttcrack of dawn and shows up _five hours late?_ The hell is wrong with you?"

"Buttcrack of dawn," Sakura whispers to Sasuke with a giggle as they stand, as though it's some funny joke or a naughty word. Which, like, doesn't even make sense because there are actual swear words in his sentence, so it must be some joke he's not getting…

He's beginning to suspect that whatever that goes on in Sakura's mind may not be for regular people to comprehend. Hinata always _had_ called her weird.

He just never thought much about it because Hinata is, frankly, not in any position to accuse anyone of being weird.

"My bad," Kakashi waves a hand airily, taking Naruto's venom in stride. "You see, there was this old lady on the street and she needed some help with her—"

"Forget it!" Naruto snaps, pacing angrily, "Just start the test! The fuck."

Kakashi looks at the other two genin and, like he's truly clueless to the reason for the blond's fury, shrugs innocently. He pulls out an alarm clock from seemingly out of nowhere and dumps it on a training post, waving them over placidly.

"Gather 'round, my little chickens, time's a-wasting," he says, as if he hadn't wasted their entire morning.

Though Sasuke refrains from doing so, Naruto unabashedly _groans_ as they drag their feet over.

"This guy's a goddamn disaster."

Sakura laughs, light-hearted and apparently the only one of them who doesn't feel the sting of annoyance. Kakashi ignores all of them.

"So, as you all know, we're having a training exercise today. We end when the alarm rings. It's set to noon so that's gives you — hm — about half an hour. Plenty of time for each of you to try and steal these from me."

He holds out a gloved hand, two bells dangling from his fingers, and jingles them a bit. Sasuke makes a face.

"There are only two bells," he points out slowly, his confusion clear on his face. He glances surreptitiously at his teammates, sure that Naruto would snap again, but he's just staring at the bells with a straight face. Sakura's expression is curious, but it's almost eerie how alike the look in their eyes are — they're both planning something.

_They__'__re really going to burn his house down,_ Sasuke notes with bland resignation.

"Oh, yes, I suppose there is. Silly me!" Kakashi says with faux-surprise. Sasuke indulges in less charitable thoughts and muses that if he gets his home razed, he probably deserves it. Though he doesn't care to join Naruto and Sakura on their harebrained scheme, he decides he doesn't really care to stop them, either. Hatake is a bit annoying. "I guess that means only two of you will get to pass, then! Or maybe one, maybe none. Anything goes here."

"So, bottom line, we need a bell to pass and if we don't, we go back to the academy," Naruto sums up shrewdly, eyeing the man sharply. "Do I have that right?"

"Yes, that's the gist of it. The test will end when you either get the bells or you run out of time."

Naruto is careful not to look at Sasuke, but Sakura has no such compulsions; she angles her head so Kakashi can't see and _winks_ at him. Sasuke blinks back, wondering what it is _this_ time, before realising a bit belatedly that she must be thanking or congratulating him for guessing their task correctly.

Well, semi-correctly. Kakashi probably won't stand about harmlessly while they're trying to filch a bell.

"I will not tolerate any half-hearted attempts, however," Kakashi says suddenly and stares straight at Sasuke with a knowing look. "If you're not going to put in your all, you may as well bow out now. I expect you to come at me with the intent to kill."

Sasuke swallows and ducks his head, unable to hold his gaze. Intent to kill. The ticking hands of the clock on the training post is unreasonably loud in his ears and he wishes he could set it aflame.

(How long, again? How long is half an hour? Thirty minutes, a thousand and eight hundred seconds, but how long is a _second?_ A blink, a breath, a scream—)

He'd rather bow out. He wishes he could. (Why is he here, why is he _here_? _What's the fucking point_—)

"That's the way," Kakashi says cheerfully and Sasuke flinches, glancing up to see a truly vicious smile cross Naruto's face. Sakura just looks curious and amused.

"You're so _dramatic_, sensei," she laughs a bit, seemingly unaffected by Kakashi's declaration. Sasuke wonders if she's just brushing it off and thought he was kidding. She doesn't look like the type to grasp the situation well. "Telling us to kill you just to prove a point."

Kakashi shrugs, pointedly tucking the strings of the bells into his side. "Many have killed for much less."

That hits a bit too close to home. Sasuke closes his eyes and counts his breaths, trying to keep his head clear. Red blooms in his mind's eye and he has to bite his cheek to keep himself from being lost in his nightmares.

_The skies are blue. The skies are blue. The skies are blue._

He misses out a good two minutes of conversation, only snapping back to focus when he feels the atmosphere charge with tension. Sasuke opens his eyes and sees his team members taut like coiled springs, ready to move.

"When I say start," Kakashi declares, raising two fingers in the air to signal some mental countdown. He pauses for a good few seconds, surveying the three in front of him. "Ready…"

Sasuke gets ready to leap.

Kakashi brings his hand down.

"Start!"

They scatter.

**—x—x—X—x—x—**

**—x—X—x—**

**—x—**

**x**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakura: lolololololol  
Naruto and Kakashi: "Ew, extrovert."  
Sasuke, the only sensible one: "So we just gonna ignore that she's probably a psychopath. And a stalker. We gonna sleep on that? Aight then, it's not my house…"
> 
> This chapter's flashback features a bit of backstory behind Kiba and Naruto's relationship: Akamaru once got separated from Kiba and got abused by a bunch of older kids. Naruto saved him because he's a decent person and Kiba kind of got forced into inviting him over by his family, which is why he seems so reluctant, and that immediately puts off Naruto who can sense it and interprets it to mean that he's not actually wanted, despite the invitation. Naruto is a very defensive boy. Footnote: Kiba wasn't actually trying to be a dick, he's actually just upset and guilty that he wasn't there to help Akamaru. That's why he's being sour towards Naruto. (cough they're both tsunshits cough)
> 
> You can't tell me it's not weird that the Hokage casually invites Kakashi on a field trip to visit and break into the houses of two underaged boys. This happens in canon smh. Like, I get it, gain intel on your charges before you dive headfirst into the inevitable shitfest, but it's still pretty weird in context lol.
> 
> Naruto has had house invasions (not from actual paedophiles, thank god, but from hostile villagers too chicken shit to actually do anything to Naruto directly so they come in and just trash his home when he and his guards aren't around) and thus has a security system — his seals and Tenten, who is his neighbour and happened to have the day off from her own genin duties on that day. Sasuke doesn't even have a security system. Hinata is Sasuke's sense of self preservation, because he doesn't have one.
> 
> Tenten is also an orphan and is Naruto's next-door neighbour. Naruto and Tenten, while friendly, function more like a mutually beneficial relationship. They're both practical and barter and trade stuff all the time. Naruto's potty mouth 100% came from her. If Naruto is the big bro to Konohamaru, Tenten is the big sis to Naruto.
> 
> Naruto thinks his parents must've been war criminals because their records are classified and everyone hates him. Kakashi is not happy about this.
> 
> Hinata eats ramen, harasses Naruto for a bit and dumps a gift in his lap. Naruto thinks she enjoys being a cryptic piece of shit lol. (She does.)
> 
> DID SASUKE GET A GIFT TOO? Naruto thinks they're together. (They're not lmao he's just trash talking. This will not end in SasuHina, for those concerned/excited/idk. They're just…those friends. The uncomfortably close kind. Path!Sasuke and Path!Hinata are the brotp)
> 
> Kakashi meets his little chickens. YEET
> 
> Kakashi has much unresolved Obito angst and wonders about Sasuke's motivations, since he's not screaming aVEnGeRrRrrrR and is, unlike Canon!Sasuke, legitimately hard to read. He's pretty sure Naruto hates Konoha, though, or at least doesn't care about it. He's also bracing himself for Sakura's theoretical nasty surprise.
> 
> Everyone of the Konoha 12/Sand Sibs have different outfits! Their personalities are so different that I can't imagine them wearing the canon outfits. Naruto doesn't wear as much orange and keeps his pre-genin goggles. Sasuke's clothes are very nondescript and underwhelming to suit his more restrained personality here. Sakura is a mix of tomboy and childish (my vision of her looks kinda FLUFFY actually, thanks to her huge parka and Madoka-style pigtails). I haven't described Hinata's clothes in-story yet, but she wears a long-ish black shirt, black biker shorts and an electric violet windbreaker.
> 
> Sasuke has a bit of a meltdown. Huge anxiety and trust issues. Poor boy needs a hug (but don't, because he'll freak out more). He has a sort of arrangement with the Yamanaka going on, but it'll be elaborated much, much later.
> 
> Naruto and Sasuke's gardening skills is like the guy she told you not to worry about vs. you meme.
> 
> Sasuke has cats! And he hates birds. All birds are crows. RIP Sasuke's tomato plant. (The cat is right tho; it would've died.) Side note: "aho" is the sound crows make in Japanese (like a cat's "nya") and means "idiot" lol
> 
> And yeah, the asshole crow is 100% one of Itachi's summons checking up on him. Itachi didn't ask it to be this way, it's just…naturally an asshole. It's been trolling Sasuke for years now, you'd have thought he would've learnt to close his windows by now…
> 
> Sasuke recognises who Kakashi is because he's somewhat directly related to Obito in Pathverse.
> 
> Naruto tries to dig for information, unsubtly. Sakura hatches a plan in case they fail. She's straight-up a Bad Influence lol. Sasuke doesn't want to burn any houses. Houses are expensive, okay?
> 
> Yes, okay, but that's exactly why Naruto absolutely wants to destroy Kakashi's apartment. It's a mystery how serious Sakura is…
> 
> Kudos and Reviews appreciated! Onegai feed me kudasai lmao


End file.
